Living On The Edge

Addicted to Jesus

dancingdreamer | June 12, 2008 17:01

I feel like dancing! I want to shout to the world the goodness of God! He never ceases to amaze me. He fills my heart with joy! He gives me life. He is my life! If people knew what they could have in Christ, they would be sprinting as fast as they possibly could to sit at His feet. People that do not know me, and hear of the trials I have endured during the past decade and a half, would certainly ask, “How can she rejoice in the midst of difficulties?” If they had the desire to listen, I would gladly share my secret. It really is no secret – it is the gift that was given to all mankind over 2000 years ago.

I have not always had the joy, the peace, the restful heart that I have today. For quite a number of years I let the trials and difficulties rule my life. I remember a time when a man at my church walked over to me and asked a question about my demeanor. He asked, “Amy, why do you look like your dog just died?” I came home and thought long and hard about his question. It was a defining moment in my life. The question catapulted me into a search - a long, hard search for the key to happiness.

As a child growing up, a misleading picture had been painted for me about Christianity. And I bought into some mistruths about who Jesus is. Since my search for happiness began, Jesus has been showing me who He REALLY is. It has been an adventurous journey, leading me to a full life in Christ. It keeps getting better and better, as I grow closer to His heart and taste the goodness He gives to me. He keeps me on the edge of my seat waiting to see what is next for my life.

In 2005, I began tasting the goodness of God like never before. The Lord used my priest, Father Kurt, to bring forth tremendous fruit in my life. Father Kurt sensed the Holy Spirit urging our church to begin a season of fasting. On several different occasions, he asked us to join him in a fast for up to forty days. There is no question about it. IT CHANGED MY LIFE! These fasts were not typical. Most people think of food when they think of fasting. He asked us to fast from food, but he also asked us to temporarily refrain from anything that could be hindering our relationship with Christ. - T.V., computers, blogging, cell phones and so on. At the time, I did not even know what a blog was, but trust me I had plenty of things to fast from. A challenging one for me was the TV. I am sure this sounds like pure torture. You may be thinking, “How dare that man ask people to give up these perfectly normal things!” I promise it was not a controlling thing at all. He never tried to force anybody to do this. It was simply an exercise he wanted us to try, if we felt led by God. And it was very temporary.

I cannot remember exactly how many different times I fasted. But there is one thing I know for certain - I experienced Christ, like I never had before, and I have never been the same! During the fasting, I was healed of a physical ailment I had suffered from for nearly 3 years. Most importantly, addictions were broken in my life, and I found a New Addiction.

I have a favorite memory from my season of fasting. I smile when I think of the day I called a Christian radio station and won a Christian CD. It was a CD with a collection of songs from various Christian artists. The day it arrived at my house, I popped it in my CD player and I began to hear the lyrics of Kirk Franklin. I had never heard of him until then. The song was titled, “Stomp!” I wrote in my journal that the song was my theme song during the fast, and it described exactly how I was feeling.

The main chorus:

Lately I've been going through some things that's really got me down.
I need someone, somebody to help me come and turn my life around.
I can't explain it, I can't obtain it. Jesus your love is so, it's so amazing.
It gets me high, up to the sky, and when I think about your goodness it makes me wanna stomp.
Makes me clap my hands. Makes me wanna dance and stomp.
My brother can't you see I've got the victory. STOMP!!!

Today, I own 4 of Kirk Franklin’s CDs. I am jamming to his music right now. My daughter walked into the room a few minutes ago, and asked, “Are you having a little party?” I am having a party - in my heart! I am so happy. I am so blessed to know Jesus in the intimate way that I do. He is everything to me. So if you ask, “How can you be so happy when things are uncertain in your life?” My certainty is in Jesus. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow (Hebrews 13:8). No matter what is going on around me, I can run to His arms and feel peace. Nothing can take Jesus away from me. Everything else in this world will pass away, but Jesus will be here for all of eternity. It is hard to wrap our brains around that. Jesus is REAL. There is nothing that satisfies like Him.

There is not a drug, not an alcoholic beverage, not an obsession that will fill your heart like Jesus can. I have seen a testimony of this with my own eyes. I watched as the Lord delivered two of my family members of alcohol addiction. Jesus began filling the empty places in their hearts, and they have never needed a drink since then. I have stayed far away from alcohol because of the addiction I saw in my family. Even though I have never had an addiction to alcohol or drugs, I have seen how it destroys lives. I have had enough struggles in my life to understand what it is like to experience pain and hurt, and how easy it can be to run to other things besides God to numb myself and escape. So when I am tempted to run to substitutes for God, I stop, and the Lord reminds me that to experience the fullness of life and to have the happiness I desire – I must run to Him. I must be saturated, obsessed, fully consumed, and addicted to Jesus!

Isaiah 58: 6

Is this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of INJUSTICE and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed FREE and break every yoke? NIV

1 John 2: 16-17

For everything in the world – the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does – comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. NIV

Lord, I thank You and praise You for the obsession I have in You. It is the one addiction that will not destroy my life - it brings me life! Lord, I am amazed by Your love and Your continual pursuit of me. I am amazed at how You are always ready, waiting, available for me to run to, when I am hurting. I am amazed by how You are never angry at me, how You lovingly guide me to righteousness when I mess up. I am amazed by how You make ALL things work together for good in my life. I am amazed by how You give me the desires of my heart before I even ask. You know every thought, every concern, You have captured every tear, You have soothed my soul in my times of deep hurt. You have given me Beauty for Ashes, laughter instead of hopelessness, faith instead of fear. You are my life!

Now, I pray that each and every person that reads this will be touched by Your love in a mighty way! I pray that You will pursue them relentlessly, and that they will fall passionately in love with You. Lord, let Your light shine through all of us as Your children, so that the world will see Your goodness! Amen.

Do you desire to experience the fullness of life? Pray today for Jesus to be your obsession. You will never be the same!

Live Abundantly!

~Amy