Living On The Edge...Loving Relentlessly

As I was listening to my worship music, focusing on the Lord, a sense of gratitude came rushing into my spirit. I realized how honored I am. To think that Christ would choose me to be His beloved daughter overwhelms my heart.

Christ chose me to walk the road of adversity. He chose me to lay down the things that steal LIFE from me. He chose me to lose my life so I could gain His. He chose me because He wanted to spill His love into my heart so that I could spill it onto others.

I was overcome with emotion as I felt the power of His love permeating my heart. The realization hit me: "He loves me so much that He died an agonizing death so that I could have LIFE. He loves me that much." It’s hard to comprehend the magnitude of Christ’s gift to mankind.

I slowed down long enough to soak in the strong sense of gratitude I was experiencing. I was remembering where I was only 12 years ago and thinking about the unbelievable work Christ has done in my life. It’s absolutely mind boggling! It makes me want to drop all my plans for the day, leave my agenda behind, fall at His feet and worship Him. The picture that comes to my head is of Mary pouring perfume on His feet and sitting for hours in His presence.

My grateful heart longs to be in His presence. I realize what He has given me. He has been with me every step of a rocky road. He held me close during the dark nights when sorrow was all around me. He was there when I felt like giving up. He was there holding my heart in His hand when I didn’t feel like I could carry on. He was there all along carrying me, holding me close.

I am honored that Christ chose me to endure the many trials I’ve faced during the past 20 years. I am honored because I know I would not be the woman of God I am today without them. I would not know His great love without them. I would not be experiencing the tenderness of His mercy without them. I would not feel ALIVE without them. I would not be contented, peaceful, and hopeful without them.

I am honored that He loved me enough to bring me through the sorrow to a place where FAITH abides. He knew all along that the road He was taking me on was leading me to an abundant life. He knew my heart needed to be refined and purified. He knew that His light would one day illuminate all darkness, and He would prevail in my life!

No matter what you’re going through – embrace the TRUTH, embrace Christ! He loves you with an everlasting love. No matter what amount of darkness is around you at this moment, Christ will prevail! He IS carrying you. He will give you LIFE. Listen to the voice of TRUTH. Let go of hopelessness and step into the place of honor He has called you to. I am honored…all Christians are honored to be the beloved heirs of The King!

Romans 8: 16-17 (NIV)

V. 16: The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 

V. 17: Now if we are children, then we are heirs – heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Lord, tears flood my eyes as I think about what You have accomplished in my life. I am honored that You chose me to walk this path with you. I am honored to share in Your sufferings. I love You with all my heart, and pray that You will be glorified greatly in my life. Amen.

Live Abundantly!

Amy

So why is it such a battle sometimes to steal away with the Lord? It seems that distractions draw my attention away from what I know fills me with LIFE. The computer, e-mails, telephones are all continually calling out to me: ‘Come for rest and comfort’. But none of these things offer anything other than a temporary fix for my desperate need of Christ. The bottom line is this: The empty places in my heart can only be filled by Him.

I have been told by others that I am a people-person. In other words, I am an extrovert. One of the defining features of an extrovert is the love of being around people. Ultimately, extroverts find refreshment and rejuvenation by spending time with others.  My biggest temptation as a daughter of the King has been to rely on people for things that were meant only for God to fulfill.

Being with people is necessary to live a fulfilled life.  We need the love and support of others. But people cannot quench the insatiable thirst for love. In fact, nothing can quench our thirst except for the Giver of Life Himself…Christ Jesus. So how do we live this out and find balance to live a satisfied life?

The only way to have the LIFE we desire is to place God in the position He deserves. This is not religion or a set of rules. This is a true desire to commune with God, to feel Him, to hear His voice. There is nothing greater we can experience in this life than to enjoy God. So how do we enjoy God? Just like any close relationship, we have to nurture our covenant with God.

My marriage is by far the most important relationship I have with another human. No other relationship on earth comes close to the intimacy I share with my husband, Michael. How did our intimacy grow? It has grown from spending quality time together. Michael and I spend a significant amount of time together with our 11 year old son and with our 19 year old daughter when she's home from college. We have a lot of fun together as a family. But the way our relationship grows the most is by spending time alone.

It is amazing when we have a few hours alone to talk, to share our hearts, to totally focus on each other with no distractions. And when we have a retreat or a weekend alone together it is absolutely, over the top amazing. Those are the times the relationship grows the most. We are amazed that we continually learn new things about each other. We fall deeper in love each time we make our relationship a high priority.

How can we expect to know Christ more intimately without drawing away with Him?  I have had more peace in my life lately than I have had in a long time. I know it’s because I am resisting the temptation to give into the distractions. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with using computers, telephones, etc...But I have to draw boundaries for myself and resist the urge to turn to these kinds of things when I feel empty or weary. I have been going straight to the source of Life, letting Him quench my thirst.

I continually long for more of Jesus. As I tap into the Living Water the more satisfied I become.  Most of all, as I enjoy God I am more able to enjoy people, and not look to them for the refreshment I desire. Enjoying God, bowing before Him in reverence, with a humble heart enables Him to fill me with His LOVE. Then I am able to pour out an abundance of AGAPE love onto others…without expecting anything in return!

John 4:14 (NIV)

But whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.

Isaiah 44:3-4 (NIV)

V. 3 - For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants.

V. 4 - They will spring up like grass in a meadow, like poplar trees by flowing streams.

Dear Lord,

Thank You for quenching my thirst in a dry and barren land. Help me not to be tempted to go to other wells for the water I thirst for. Help me to continually drink of the water of Life. Amen.

May you enjoy God today!

Live Abundantly!

Amy

P.S. I have added a song called, "We Thirst For You" on my links section. This song is by one of my all-time favorite artists, Cece Winans. It is one of my favorite songs to listen to, dance and worship to, while drawing near to Christ. Enjoy!!

There is one message the Lord is speaking loud and clear to me…He wants for me to trust Him with every detail of my life. This seems to be the theme of my life. The Lord has been whispering to me over and over: “Trust Me."

As I wait on the Lord to unveil His good plans for my future, my heart is flooded with memories of God’s trustworthiness. There is one story that stands out more than any other. I shared a small part of this story last February. But now I want to share the entire story of a day in 2005 when God quadrupled my level of trust.

I pray others will be blessed by this testimony of God’s goodness. He is a God that pours out His love in radical ways…Let me say it a little clearer…Jesus is RADICAL, His love is RADICAL, and He wants to pour out RADICAL blessings on all of our lives…

Living on the Edge... This story was written August 24, 2005

Over the years I’ve read about those people we call adrenaline junkies who thrive on the high they get from living on the edge. Well, I haven’t bungee-jumped off a cliff, but I could call myself an adrenaline junkie for sure!

This morning the Lord woke me, actually He jolted me out of my sleep during an incredible dream. I was dreaming I was a princess and I was running through a beautiful castle, going from room to room in awe of all the beauty of it. Then suddenly for a really brief moment I became afraid and I hid. But as quickly as the fear came, it left! I burst out of the hiding place and there I stood looking more beautiful than ever in a long, flowing dress. Then I woke up more suddenly than I ever have.

The image that I was left with was of me standing there looking like Cinderella in a huge castle with this quizzical look as though I was wondering, “When will my Prince rescue me?” Then reality hit me…Oh, it was a dream. I thought “Hmmm… what exactly is God trying to speak to me through this dream?” As the day went on I got my answer so clearly.

A few hours later the telephone rang. It was my friend, Lisa, calling after unsuccessfully trying to reach me for several weeks. I was so happy to actually be talking to her and not just a voice mail message. It was this day the Lord had planned for me to talk to Lisa. I hadn’t spoken with her in over three months. She asked how things were going and I began telling her how once again I was in the midst of a test. This test required me to go out on the edge a little more. I shared with her how our family was suffering a significant lack of provision. We had no money to pay our utility bills. Our refrigerator was nearly empty and we had no money to buy groceries. We could use a credit card, but soon that would no longer be an option. We had been purchasing groceries and gasoline on credit for months. We were quickly approaching our credit limit.

I told her about the question I heard the Lord asking me the night before: DO YOU REALLY TRUST ME? After a good night’s rest I got out of bed to spend time with the Lord, and I wrote my answer down on paper: “Yes I do, I have no reason not to... He has been so good to me!”

I asked Lisa to pray for the Lord to show me what to do, to provide the jobs my husband and I needed, and for Him to meet our basic needs. I asked her to spread the word that I was available to baby sit for my friends.

Lisa's words comforted me. She told me she would hire me to baby sit for her, and she would like me to come over to help her clean out her freezer…she would give me the excess food in return for helping her. WOW! I felt so encouraged. My Dad had already given me a load of much needed vegetables, and now I had this to look forward to. I was praising the Lord! I thanked her and told her I would come over to her house later in the day.

Throughout the day I pondered the possibilities. Yes, we could lose our house. We could actually lose everything. These thoughts were racing through my mind: How far will the Lord let this go? Will He rescue me in time? Will He protect my heart? Will He pull me under His loving wings another time, just as He ALWAYS has? Will He wrap His Incredible Arms around me and save me in time?

For a really brief moment I hid in fear. I thought, “Oh – what if He doesn’t?” But as suddenly as the fear came-- it left! It was just like the dream I had been awakened from. I knew without a doubt my Prince would rescue me in His way, in His time. For the rest of the day I let peace fill my heart in the midst of a very busy and challenging day.

During the early evening I headed over to Lisa’s house. As I got closer to her house I felt this indescribable emotion come over me. I really wanted to cry, but I didn’t. When I was turning the corner into her subdivision, the Spirit of God came over me. I began weeping. It was almost as if I could see the word BLESSING right in front of my face. I was thinking these thoughts: “Get with it, Amy!” “Why am I crying?” The closer I got to Lisa’s house, the stronger I could feel the blessing. My spirit knew what was about to come, but my mind didn’t. Then I turned the corner and I saw Lisa’s driveway- it was full of cars. I knew immediately, Lisa had called some of my other special friends, who are so dear to my heart.

It was more than my heart could take in at once. My Prince had arrived to rescue me just at the right time. Oh, that feeling that I am so addicted to! The adrenaline rush I feel when I am standing at the edge and He rescues me is beyond words. There is nothing more satisfying than when my Prince sweeps me up into His arms. It gets better every time. This time it was surreal.

Lisa came out of her house with a huge smile and said, “You’re about to get your socks blessed off!” She invited me in, and more friends were waiting with loving arms and just the right words. The floodgates opened to my soul and the tears came pouring out.

They each had the most incredible messages from the Lord for me. It was as though everything He wanted to say to me, He was saying through them. Lisa spoke first and said: I have watched the Lord take you to the edge so many times and it amazes me to see how much you trust Him. As I was listening to these uplifting words, I felt his incredible love. He was saying to me “Amy, You are so beautiful and I am so proud of you”. I was breathing in His love, relaxed and ready to receive His answer to my call. The Lord had prepared my heart to receive. It wasn’t hard for me at all. 

Each friend prayed for me – a prayer I will never forget!! Then it was time for the surprise. They led me into the kitchen and it was like nothing I had ever seen before. I had never seen so many bags of groceries in one room in my life. I couldn’t contain the joy. The tears kept coming and coming and coming. Then they said: “There is more.” They handed me cards and envelopes full of money and gift cards. I could hardly take it. But still there was more. Lisa started bringing in bags of frozen meats from her freezer.

All I could think of is the scripture the Lord promised to me many, many years before. Ephesians 3: 20-“Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.”

The Lord outdoes Himself with every blessing He sends into my life. I was standing there saying this is like being on an “Extreme Grocery Makeover” show! But they still weren’t finished, there were more blessings. Another friend, Katherine, had more for me at her house. I drove over to her house and the tears were still flowing. There was a huge cooler full of premium food, more money, and many more bags of food for my family.

Earlier when I finished talking to Lisa I had no idea what the Lord had in store for me. Lisa began calling my friends, and the response was simply amazing. There was an e-mail sent out, and on a moment’s notice these ladies pulled together an incredible act of God.

These special ladies were dropping off loads of groceries for my family all day long. Lisa said to me…”There is more to come. Everyone didn’t get a chance to come yet.” Katherine told me I would have an open invitation to her pantry. She told me to come back anytime I needed to. This was so far beyond anything I could have ever dreamed of.

I wept all the way home and still had waves of emotion for the rest of the night. When I finally came down a little from the intoxicating high, I counted 36 bags of groceries and I found out I had been given $790.00 in money and gift cards and probably almost $1000.00 worth of groceries.

The food that was provided to us was the best of the best: steaks, shrimp, orange roughy fillets, tuna steaks, a huge rack of ribs, and more! The bags were filled with so many household products such as soap, paper towels, dishwashing detergent, cleaning products and more! Many of the groceries were luxuries that we had never had in our home before. The money was just enough to pay off our overdue bills!

My daughter said to me that the first thing she thought of when she saw all this stuff was:“THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE EXPLOSION OF BLESSINGS God promised to us! Michael, the kids, and I had a dancing celebration of God’s goodness to us. We stayed up late into the night praising Him with singing, dancing, and laughter.

After everyone went to bed, I rested in the arms of my Prince, thanking Him for always coming through for me, and making me want to keep living my life on the edge.

Psalm 103:11 (NIV)

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so GREAT is His LOVE for those who fear Him. 

Dear Lord,

Please don't let me EVER forget ALL the magnificent ways You have poured out Your amazing Love on me. May I spend the rest of my life inviting others into the great adventure!! Amen.

Live Abundantly!

Amy

I feel quite sure there may be a few people who have been reading the bits and pieces of my story that are wondering how I ended up on the path I’m on…the  risky route of living on the edge. It’s been a process, a series of events that have ultimately led me to loving Jesus at all costs – following Him wherever He leads me, no matter what!

It all started when God began rocking my world…my safe, secure world of climbing the ladder of success (the world’s definition of success). I was cruising through life, enjoying financial security (or at least I thought), while God patiently waited for me to wake up and see where TRUE LIFE really lies. I didn’t wake up without a little jostling. So God in His infinite power began waking me up in His own loving way.

In the spring of 1994 God tenderly placed the desire in me to give up my job with one of the largest corporations in the world. I had been working part-time for Procter and Gamble for 8 years. He was urging me to stay home with my daughter, to begin earning money in ways that fit better with motherhood, despite the fact that my husband had been laid off 4 years earlier from a major corporation: Unisys. The job had given us a comfortable lifestyle. After the loss of my husband’s job we were barely making it on the money he was earning from a small computer business he had started. I knew we needed the money from my job, but I also KNEW without a shadow of doubt what God was asking me to do. It was a tough decision.

I still remember the phone call to my manager. Through tears I told her I was leaving the job. Much of my identity and self-worth had been tied to the status of working for such a well-known, prestigious company. It was a job that I knew could have led me to really BIG things in the world’s eyes. They had already spoken to me about further advancement, and the steps available to me to begin a lifetime career with P&G. I was continually praised in that job. My supervisors often told me I was the best merchandiser/part-time sales representative in the Atlanta area, and that I was of great value to the company. I was flattered to say the least.

Not too long ago, I found one of the written annual reviews I had received during my years with P&G. I finally threw it in the trash after saving it for over a decade. I can imagine that it’s obvious what those written reviews did for my ego. I suppose that’s why I saved one of them for so long. Today there is no evidence left of those years of working for such a prestigious company, other than some engraved coasters, several coolers with the P&G logo, luggage, and other Christmas gifts they gave me.

It would be an understatement to say I am a completely different person than I was the day I quit that job. The last thing my boss said to me was that I would always have an open invitation to come back. She wanted me to consider coming back in the future when the job would fit better into my life’s priorities. Those last words have stuck in my head during the past 15 years, and believe me I have been tempted in a major way to take her up on the offer. But every time I approached God with it, He politely said, “No.”

I can’t count how many times I have wanted to slip back into that world…the world of comfort and recognition, the world where I received a pat on the back and heard the words: “You have worth because of your position.” I have wanted to feel normal, to feel accepted, to feel worthy of recognition. But my alliance with God won out, and those cavernous holes in my heart that caused me to desperately desire to feel normal, worthy, and accepted have been filled. Well, let me rephrase that. God is filling those holes in my heart that need to be filled up. Because I have learned that it is a life-time process. My need to be filled up with Christ will NEVER end until I am sitting in heaven with God. The moment I begin to believe I am filled up with Jesus is the moment I will fall flat on my face. It is a continual process of seeking Christ and allowing Him to fill me with His Spirit.

It’s been quite a process of going from the woman who walked away from a worldly way of receiving worth to a woman who receives my worth from Christ. Just before my 21st birthday I was a seemingly confident young woman, full of enthusiasm and excitement, embarking on a new job, ready to conquer the world. Eight years later, at almost 29 years old, I had no idea who I was… without a prestigious title or position. So the journey began of discovering my true AUTHENTIC self…a story of God’s grace that I hope to share in its entirety one day.

It has been a journey of discovering God’s love and infinite grace. There have been moments when I have questioned God in the midst of the places He has taken me. I could not understand at times how He could allow so much difficulty after I had done what He asked of me. Now I understand…God has meant it all for good and for His glory.

Is the Lord asking you to do something scary? Is He asking you to go out on a limb for Him? Go for it!! I wouldn’t write these words if I didn’t fully believe that the greatest blessings come from complete obedience. The safest place to be is where God is leading you. It may feel scary, but the reality is: We’re safe when we’re walking with Jesus. My husband and I are out on a limb right now...BIG TIME! He is in school full-time at the age of 47!! But I believe with all my heart that we are right where the Lord wants us.

The past few months have been a challenge for me. I realize now that I had veered off the path a little. I wasn’t right behind Jesus. As long as I am right behind Him…I am fine. The perfect test for knowing whether I am behind Christ is the level of peace I am experiencing. When my peace is gone I know I have gotten off track.

I’m happy to say I am back on track, and it feels glorious! The Lord recently opened a door for me to begin a new job, so that I could cut back on some of the little odd jobs like cleaning and organizing for people. Get this: I began my new job on the 8th of December with a company called, New Beginnings!!!!! Is God cool, or what? Those of you who have known me for years know that I have been writing and talking about NEW BEGINNINGS and the number EIGHT for about 4 years. Isn’t it just like God to give me a job with a name that causes passion and excitement to rise up in me!

The other awesome detail about the job is that I am working as a part-time sales representative. I had checked into the company for another position, but when I talked with the owner she wanted me to be a sales representative. I never dreamed I would have another job in sales, something I enjoy so much. There is no salary, only commission. I have not had anyone sign a contract yet. So I haven’t made a single penny. But guess what? It doesn’t matter. I am doing the job with a trusting heart because it is what I believe God is asking me to do. He will honor that. He ALWAYS does.

He loves His children so much that even if I somehow miss His voice He will honor me anyway, because He KNOWS my heart, and He KNOWS my greatest desire in this life is to please Him.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (KJV)

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not onto thine own understanding; in all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He will make thy paths straight.

Lord,

I praise You for Your goodness, and I thank You for providing for my every need. Lord, forgive me for the times I have gotten off the path you have mapped out for me. Strengthen me and help me to stay on track... May every move I make be pleasing to you, Oh Lord! Amen.

Live Abundantly!

Amy

I wanted to post something today because I received a notice from the blog administration informing me that they would be deleting blogs that haven't posted in the past two weeks.

This past week has been filled with loss...My dear step-mother, Debbie, went home to be with her beloved savior on December 20th. Although my heart is full of stories to share, my mind won't allow me to spill out the words today. I believe I am still processing it all - with a sense of peace and calm.

I went searching in my saved documents for something to post. I stumbled upon an article I had written for a ministry in July. When I read it, I thought it fit perfectly with my current circumstances. It was funny how something I had written months ago brought comfort to me today. It was a reminder that God is in control in all circumstances. He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and there is no trial or loss that can change that. HE... is the abundant life!

Happy reading!

The Abundant Life

When I spend time thinking about the challenging circumstances in my life, it can be easy to lose sight of the things that really matter. I am so grateful...I don’t dwell on the negative anymore – I am way past that. I spend the majority of my time in a place of gratitude, thanking God for all the great things He has accomplished in my life.

I want to live abundantly – live life to the fullest! John 10:10 says that Jesus has come to give us life, and to give it more abundantly. Yet, how many people truly tap into the abundant life that Christ offers? Could it be the way we view our lives, or what we equate happiness with? For years, my view of what brings happiness, contentment, and fullness of life was so different than what my view is today. My thoughts of the good life were completely intertwined with having a good income, financial stability, having constant harmony in my relationships, and having plenty of time and energy to do the things I love doing. Well, if my happiness depended on these things today, I would be a miserable person.

For a season, the Lord allowed me to bask in the external joys of life, seeking abundance in the physical realm. But because He loves me so much He wanted to give me true life… the life Jesus promises us. How do we find the abundance we long for? While seeking God, I have found His treasures.

A few years ago, while dodging the potholes in the road of life, I was wondering why everything in my life seemed to be shaken up. Everything that had brought me security had been lost. I sought Him for answers, and He diligently answered me. He led me to a scripture in the Old Testament that jumped off the pages when I read it. Deuteronomy 30:6 says, “The Lord your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love Him with your all your heart, and with all your soul, and LIVE.”

When I read these verses it was as though these words were written just for me. The word circumcise is derived from a Latin word meaning, “to cut.” I had found the answer I had been longing to know. For the first time I read words that described how I was feeling. It felt like my heart was undergoing surgery. My heart was being circumcised. God was cutting away the things in my heart that weren’t from Him – the things that were hindering me from fully loving Him and keeping me from knowing his love for me. The process has been far from easy. At times it has been excessively painful. But ultimately it led me to a full, abundant life.

Are you in the midst of being pulled and stretched? Do you feel as though life is caving in around you? To be rebuilt, a house needs to be torn down first. It can be an excruciating process. Do not lose heart. God is building a beautiful house out of your life. He uses every loss, every struggle for our good. I have learned that nothing He allows in my life is in vain. He uses it all. There are struggles I experienced many years ago that are the very substance of the good things in my life today. Without the pain, the trials, and sorrow I would not be the woman I am today. Through all the muck in my life, He has been molding me into the beautiful creation he intended for me to be.

Today, my heart is full of gratitude for every trial. The very things that have seemed the hardest to endure are what have led me to true life. The job losses, the relationship struggles, the health problems, the marriage difficulties have all been necessary for me to grow, to become the woman of God I have grown into. The struggles led me to His arms. If it takes disappointment to drive me into the arms of Christ…then I say, “Bring it on!” There is nothing that compares to the love of Jesus. It’s worth it all.

God has given me a new heart, a heart more like His, a heart that rejoices because of His love. Now when I question the things going on around me, I can look into His eyes and rest in His arms. This is LIFE…knowing that no matter what is stripped away, no matter what is happening, or what loss I am grieving – Jesus is walking along side me, carrying me, allowing me to bask in His great love – This is the abundant life!

John 10:10 (KJV)

...I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the abundant life you offer to all mankind. I want to be a vessel of Your love, and help draw others to Your everlasting fountain of life. Amen.

Live Abundantly!

Amy

I just finished rearranging things in my refrigerator and freezer so that all our food will fit. After spending almost an hour shuffling the food around, I thought about the irony of our surplus of food and laughed! Here we are supposedly in a time of famine,  yet we have so much food that it will barely fit in our refrigerator. God has a very good sense of humor!

We have been able to pay all of our bills since Michael lost his job…yahoo!!! But our income is so low right now that we really don’t have a budget for food. The amount we spend on food is whatever we have left over after our bills are paid, which usually isn’t very much at all.

There is no doubt that God has made His point – For those who seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and His righteousness – there is nothing to fear! God will and does provide for those who love Him and seek Him wholeheartedly. My life is proof!

Any fear of not having my needs met was fully eradicated in 2005 when God placed an idea in a friend’s heart to organize an ‘Extreme Grocery Makeover’ for me and my family. Since that day I have not had an ounce of worry about God taking care of me. And He has continually shown Himself as a trustworthy Daddy in the ways He has provided for us.

I have a weekend job at an ‘Event Facility,’ where large amounts of delicious, upscale foods are served. The job is not like a job to me. I love it! And on top of the great joy it brings me, I get to bring home gourmet food. My employer allows all the employees to bring home the leftover food after each event. It is amazing! The amount of food I bring home each weekend from work is an incredible blessing! At this moment my refrigerator is full of high quality foods such as fruit, fresh cut-up vegetables, a variety of cheeses, humus, salads, chicken served with champagne sauce, salmon, and more.

Over the weekend our church had its annual Christmas party. There was a large amount of food left from the party and leftovers from a catered church dinner. We were given more food to add to our feast…a pot of chili, a huge amount of barbecue chicken, barbeque pork, a huge amount of slaw, and potato salad.

I am getting a big kick out of this! I better be careful during rough times... I might just gain excess pounds with all the fabulous food the Lord provides. Seriously, our refrigerator is full and overflowing. It’s hard to get things in and out without stuff falling everywhere! Every time I open the refrigerator door, it’s a reminder of God’s goodness. It is God’s way of making a loud statement.

He wants me to know that not only will He meet my needs, but He will go overboard for me. He loves me that much.

He loves us all more than we can possibly imagine. He wants to pour out His love in unimaginable ways. He wants to lavish us with His love. He is a BIG God and He blesses in BIG ways.

The Lord is ALWAYS worth waiting for. His ways are ALWAYS better than mine. After all, He has provided an exceptional feast when I thought we were in the midst of a famine.

Matthew 6:31 -34 (NIV)

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Dear Lord,

You simply amaze me in Your ability to pour out Your love! Thank you, Father, for providing everything my family needs. You are a God of love and mercy. I praise You for Your goodness. Amen.

Live Abundantly!

Amy

If I had a spare moment I would share about all the amazing ways God is caring for me and my family. But I simply don't have the time to share the details. 

As usual, I'm hanging on the edge of a scary cliff, trusting, waiting on God to reveal Himself just in time. He's never too late...He always swoops me up just at the right moment.

For any believer who is struggling to trust the Lord in times of uncertainty...just keep seeking His face with all your heart. He WILL show Himself to those who wholeheartedly seek Him...I promise.

God is ALL that He says He is in His word. Keep seeking. Keep trusting. Keep hoping. Keep having faith. Never give up!

Most of all - walk away from doubt and fear, choose to believe, and settle it in your heart that God is good!

I want to shout it from a mountaintop: GOD IS GOOD, GOD IS GOOD, GOD IS GOOD! 

Psalm 34:8 (NIV)

Taste and see that the Lord is good; BLESSED is the man who takes refuge in Him.

Dear Lord,

I praise You for Your goodness. You are mighty, strong, and worthy to be praised. Thank You for loving me enough not to give me what I want when I want it. You know what is best for me - just like every good daddy knows what's best for his child. I trust You to take care of me. May my desires always match up with Your will for me.

I love you, Daddy, with all my heart!!!Amen.

May you all taste and see the goodness of God this Christmas season!

Live Abundantly!

Amy

Do you ever have moments when your heart is overcome with gratitude for God’s faithfulness? Tonight, this happened to me. Out of the blue, I felt emotions welling up inside me. I was daydreaming, thinking about all the ways the Lord has proven Himself faithful to me. He simply amazes me.

Just yesterday He did the sweetest thing for me. I was working at one of my cleaning jobs. I was at a chiropractor’s office contentedly cleaning, praying, thanking God for such a great way to make money. I was asking the Lord to send more jobs like it.  Since it fits so perfectly in my schedule,  only takes a few hours of my day, and the pay is good.

A few minutes later I noticed a missed call on my cell phone. It was the owner of the Equestrian Center where I’ve been working a few hours each week. She had called to ask if I would be interested in cleaning one of the rental properties that she owns. Her words were something like this, ‘It should be easy, and shouldn’t take very long’ (just what I had prayed for minutes earlier). Isn’t that just like our Faithful Father – to show His loving-kindness, to confirm His goodness in such a tangible way!

The skeptics would say, “Coincidences happen all the time!” But what the skeptics don’t know is how many stories I could share that would make even an atheist rethink his beliefs. I could fill many pages with written stories of God’s faithfulness. I’m trying to figure out a way to carve out the time to share these stories. The main reason I began writing this online journal is to record the testimonies of God’s goodness. I especially want my children and future grandchildren to hear my stories, so that when they hit hard times they will believe in His faithfulness and not lose heart.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sobbed tears of release, tears of joy for the ways the Lord has poured out His goodness on me. Quickly, I’ll share one story that comes to my mind. In 2001, during one of the many times my husband, Michael, was without work, he was self-employed, and he had hit a lull…a season of no business. It got to the point of desperation. We prayed together with our kids for God's intervention. We were crying out for the Lord to provide the money we needed to pay our monthly expenses. We got very detailed with our request…we asked Him for the exact amount we would need for the entire month.

The next morning, something happened that I’ll never forget. Michael was driving me to a babysitting job, and he received a call on his cell phone. On the other end of the phone line was an insurance agent explaining to Michael that a case from three years earlier had been settled. In 1998, I had been in a car accident where 2 cars had crashed into the back of my vehicle and totally destroyed it. The insurance companies of the two other people had been fighting it out in court, and we had not received a penny to cover the loss of our car.

So in 2001, years after the car accident, the day after desperately crying out to our Father for money - we were being informed we would be receiving money for our losses. The amount we had prayed for, the amount we needed to pay an entire month’s worth of bills and living expenses was the amount of the insurance check we received within 48 hours. How ‘bout that??

My heart is full and overflowing with stories of God’s love. These stories, the memories of His faithfulness are inscribed on my heart for all eternity. I have a deep desire to share them with the world. I want the world to see and taste that the Lord is good. He is EVERYTHING He says He is and more! He has shown me this…with real and concrete ways.

The ways the Lord reveals Himself to me are a gift to my heart. But I don’t want to paint a picture that depicts a life without moments of weariness. I have moments, in the midst of God’s awesomeness, when my flesh gets weak. I had one of those moments this week. I found out that one of my cleaning/organizing jobs is being cut back to one day a month. This means I’ll be losing a significant amount of monthly income that my family truly needs. We also discovered that one of the ways my husband had hoped to earn money didn’t come through. I was disappointed.

I went to bed one night this week feeling let down. As the tears were falling, I felt the Lord’s comforting embrace. I let His grace and love melt away the sadness. I woke up the next morning fresh, with faith-filled wings. The picture I’m trying to paint is that I am a weak human being, who is utterly dependent on my STRONG, POWERFUL, ALMIGHTY Creator. His STRENGTH is what keeps me going, keeps me holding my head high. His strength and love keep me moving forward with great expectation.

This is the Beauty of my life. Because I have become so dependent on my Creator, I am living the best life I have ever lived…not a perfect life, but a fulfilled, meaningful, exciting life! Waiting for His rescue missions exhilarates me…only if I fall into His arms during my weak moments. Waiting is the key word. I have learned that it’s not a good idea to take matters into my own hands, not to jump a head of God, not to thwart the good plans my Daddy has for me.

So here I am surrounded by peace, contentedness, sitting in a room filled with a sweet Spirit, reminiscing about God’s faithfulness. I keep thinking of the summer of 2006, the year my husband’s graphic design business shut down, and he was delivering pizzas trying to make ends meet. We were almost 3 months behind on our mortgage payments, at risk of losing our home of over 20 years.

Michael and I were hanging on by a thread to our faith, in other words, having a weak moment. A CD (a collection of different artists) that I had won was playing in the background. Michael noticed the words to the song, and went to turn the volume up. It was a song by Jeremy Camp, "I Still Believe". Neither of us had ever listened closely to the lyrics. That night we were drawn to the words of Jeremy’s song:

Scattered words and empty thoughts

Seem to pour from my heart

I've never felt so torn before

Seems I don't know where to start

But its now that I feel Your grace fall like rain

From every fingertip washing away my pain

I still believe in Your faithfulness

I still believe in Your truth

I still believe in Your holy word

Even when I don't see I still believe

Though the questions still fog up my mind

With promises I still seem to bear

Even when answers slowly unwind

It's my heart I see You prepare

But it's now I see Your grace fall like rain

From every fingertip washing away my pain

The only place I can go is into Your arms

Where I throw to You my feeble prayers in brokenness

I can see that this is Your will for me

Help me to know You are near.

Without speaking a word to one another, our spirits meshed into oneness as we listened to the song. We stood there in our kitchen tightly embracing one another, weeping, letting our loving Father pour out His GRACE on us. It was beautiful. It was as though the lyrics had been written precisely for that moment of our lives. I don’t believe either of us will ever forget that night. We will always remember the treasures God placed in our hearts during that season. And the Lord was gracious to us by allowing us to stay in our home of 22 years.

The Lord has been faithful to us through all the job losses, through the painful years of our marriage, through every disappointment, through every loss, through every trial. Jeremy Camp’s lyrics say it all. He wrote the song after the death of his wife, Melissa. I read a short biography about him that states that the song was written as “A declaration of faith of one who has walked through the fire.”

Michael and I listened to the song again tonight. It didn’t evoke quite the powerful emotions that it did the first time I listened to it. But it made me cry, it reminded me of all the ways God has shown His faithfulness. I feel His grace fall like rain in the midst of our trials.

I still believe in His faithfulness even though I don’t know for certain how God will provide enough income for our monthly expenses, even though I don’t know how our basic needs will be met, even though I don’t understand the recent death of a beloved friend, even though I don’t know what the outcome of the upcoming election will be, or what it will mean for our country. I Still Believe.


Psalm 36:5 (NASB)

Your loving-kindness, O LORD, extends to the heavens, Your faithfulness reaches to the skies.

Psalm 89:1 (NIV)

I will sing of the Lord’s great love forever; with my mouth I will make Your faithfulness known through all generations.


Dear Lord,

I am overwhelmed today by Your faithfulness. I praise You for Your goodness. May I spend my life sharing Your love and grace with those You place in my path. May I keep my eyes on You every moment of everyday. And may Your goodness flow out of my mouth continually. Amen.

Live Abundantly!
Amy

P.S. Go to my links section to hear Jeremy Camp's song, " I Still Believe."

Have you ever met someone you knew you were destined to be friends with from the moment you spoke to them? This happened to me in March, 2006. I was invited to attend a women’s class at a church near my home. I remember the first class very clearly. From the moment I heard the leader’s words, I was drawn to her giftedness. She was a gifted speaker, eloquently teaching the heart of our heavenly Father to a spiritually-hungry group of women. But it was more than her giftedness that I was drawn to. I was drawn to her spirit, her God-seeking, warrior-like spirit. After the first night of class, I felt compelled to meet her and thank her for the words she had spoken that night.

Within a day or two after our first meeting, we had a telephone conversation. It was an immediate connection. It didn’t take long for us to figure out why our spirits were drawn to one another. We quickly realized we had been experiencing a similar journey with the Lord – a dry, desert season.

Tears are flowing down my face as I’m writing this. Just remembering our first conversations makes me weep. Because for the first time, God had allowed me to connect with a person who could understand the hidden place I had been in... the steep, rocky road I had been walking for so many years.

God had given me the desire of my heart: To know someone who had experienced the heart circumcision I was undergoing.  It was a gift to meet someone who knew what I was saying when I spoke of the secret, hidden places of my heart. She knew the language of my heart.

She began speaking about her love of butterflies, and how the Lord had used this metaphor in her life. She had no idea how I had been using the analogy of the butterfly for years to describe what God was doing in my heart. She had no idea of the intimate way my heavenly Father had encouraged my heart using the example of a butterfly. I had butterfly books, butterfly jewelry – all sorts of butterfly things I had collected to share my passion with the world. And here was a woman who was just as passionate about these beautiful creatures.

Then I discovered she was a writer. Oh, those of you who write will understand this. The love of writing is inscribed on my heart. I’ve been doing it since I was 7 or 8 - keeping journals, writing poetry, writing stories, pouring my heart out to God through written words. I have stacks of journals. Some are in a basket in my closet. Others are in storage containers in my office. I am a writer…it’s just how God wired me. And here was a woman God had placed in my life that loves to write. Do you think this was a coincidence? I don’t. She began sending me devotions she had written. Her words, her heart blew my socks off! She was passionate about her Lord, her Papa. And what a gift for writing God had given her!

Another interesting thing I learned about my special friend – she loves the color purple. My heart skipped a beat when I heard someone say it was her favorite color at her birthday party last year. Purple has been my favorite color since I was a kid. I love finding the symbolism in everything. One of the symbols of the color purple is “Royalty.”

What made our friendship so meaningful was how God had been showing both of us we were His special treasure, His princess, His “Royalty.” I am certain that before He created each of us, He knew we would love the color purple, He knew we would be friends. He knew we would be passionate about sharing the love of Christ…longing for others to join in the deep, hidden intimacy found in the desert, wanting all to discover they are His Royalty.

Today, I am rejoicing over the birth and life of my friend – a gift sent from God to share in the joys and heartaches of life. I am thanking the Lord for the strong woman of God she is. She is truly a Proverbs 31 woman, a woman after God’s heart, a fierce warrior, a rock. How do I say thank you for such a beautiful treasure… a precious, priceless Jewel!

Happy Birthday, Julie!

Your Princess Warrior friend,

Amy

Proverbs 31:10 (KJV)

Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.

The breeze is gently blowing around me, and the sun is warming my cheeks as I’m writing this. I’m sitting on a grassy hill at the park watching my son and two of his neighborhood friends having a blast. This is pure refreshment – a wonderful way to spend a Sunday afternoon after a week of work. We’re at a skate park. It’s one of those places where there is a variety of ramps for the kids to practice their skating tricks and stunts.

There’s something about the sound of the rolling wheels and the clanking of the skateboards that is completely relaxing to me. I could stay here all day. It’s one of those moments that I can imagine I’ll remember twenty years from now. So I’m savoring it. I’m breathing in this moment – this moment of sharing in the joy of my son’s youth. It’s bringing back memories of my own skateboarding days. Maybe that’s what makes this so great, or maybe it’s just an opportunity to enter into the carefree, innocence of childhood.

The Lord has been teaching me to truly rest, to enjoy each precious moment. I am learning to breathe in the beauty of the present, instead of longing for the future. I am learning to bask in the place called ‘now’. I’m discovering the sense of wonder and adventure by returning to the innocent child I once was. It is fabulous. Is this what Jesus was speaking about when He said, “Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven”? Surely, this is the kingdom of heaven. I don’t know of anything that gets better than this. The stress has melted away, my body is rested. I feel alive. I feel youthful. I feel peaceful. I feel warmth inside, knowing my Lord has everything in control, while I am innocently playing like a child. Is this how He intended for it to be? It must be, because this is heavenly. My spirit is at rest…my heart is happy.

The sky is perfectly blue. There is not a cloud in sight. Blue skies, fresh air, and no worries – don’t we all pray at times for life to stay like this? There’s a lesson to be learned from this moment. I know Christ wants for my heart to stay in a state of ‘Blue Sky’ peace, even during the ‘Thunderstorm’ moments. He knows I am learning to do this. I am learning to rest in EVERY moment, no matter what it brings. I think I am getting it. On the difficult days, I am thriving on the joy He has placed inside me.

Christ has been continually speaking to my heart lately. I have never felt closer to Him. He is the greatest love of my life. Nothing compares to His love. He is my strength in the midst of the most physically demanding season of my life. Last January, when my husband lost his job, I realized I was going to have to work more than I ever had since becoming a mom. Even though God had already shown me He was trustworthy,  I still began pondering many questions: How would I be able to maintain my home? How would I be able to be a wonderful mom while working additional jobs? I didn’t want to stop home-schooling my son and I didn’t want to be stressed from working outside my home. At that time, I couldn’t have imagined how the Lord would bring ways for me to help support my family while maintaining the desires of my heart. Working the traditional Monday – Friday, 9 to 5 schedule sounded horrid to me. The Lord knew my heart. He knew my heart’s desire to be a loving, involved mom and a supportive, encouraging wife.

My heavenly Father heard my desires - I have proof - because He has fulfilled them. What an amazing God we serve. His creativity amazes me. This week it blew me away when I thought of all the ways God has brought for me to earn money, while enabling me to continue to home-school my son and keep my time with family my highest priority. All in the same week, I have worked at an Equestrian Center, taught several dance classes to little girls, cleaned a chiropractor’s office, and worked at a special event facility. Also, I have a job helping to organize a friend’s home several times a month. This past week I went from mucking horse stalls to wearing a tuxedo outfit and white gloves, serving wedding guests in an upscale ballroom. The funny thing is how much I enjoy every job. God certainly has a sense of humor! It makes me laugh when I think about all the different jobs I’ve stumbled upon. The jobs may not sound fun to others, but for me – they are delightful. Each job was tailor-made for me. I would love to share the details of how each job is a part of God’s designed plan for me. But my time is limited, so for now, I’ll have to simplify my story in 3 short words, “God is good!” I’ll save the rest of the details for later.

This morning, I opened my curtains and saw something that made me smile. Outside my bedroom window, there was a single, little, wild daisy plant growing in the midst of all the weeds that have overtaken my backyard. This sight triggered thoughts, emotions, and many memories of my life. What a perfect symbol of the beauty I have discovered in the middle of the weeds of my life. For years, the ugly weeds were taking over and crushing my spirit.  I felt defeated. Today, through Christ's love, I am more than a conquerer! Beauty has shown its face.

There is beauty all around me. Everywhere I look I see God’s beauty. When I’m cleaning the chiropractor’s office, I see His beauty in the “God Story” connected to the job. When I’m organizing my friend’s home, I see His beauty in the joy I am bringing to someone’s life. When I’m serving guests at a wedding reception, I see His beauty in the kindness of someone saying, “Thank you” to me. When I’m mucking horse stalls, I see His beauty in the gentleness of the horses and the freshness of the outdoor air. When I’m teaching tap and ballet, I see His beauty in the faces of the sweet, little girls.

I could go on forever listing the ways I see God’s beauty every single day. I saw His beauty today in a powerful way. Watching my son skate, play, seeing him filled with a care-free joy was blissful for me. On our way home, with the cool, fall air blowing in our hair, my son looked over at me and said, “Today was seriously the BEST day – it was awesome!” It must be contagious...basking in God’s beauty. I can’t wait to see more of His beauty revealed. Do you see God’s beauty all around you? Look around. Don’t focus on the chaos, the trials - the weeds that try to take over our lives. If we look hard enough we’ll see Christ’s face, we’ll see His glory…His Magnificent Beauty amongst the weeds!


Psalm 90:17 (King James Version)

And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us…

Romans 8:37 (NIV)

No, in all these things we are more than CONQUERERS through Him who LOVED us.

2 Corinthians 3:12 – 18 (NIV)

Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold. We are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to keep the Israelites from gazing at it while the radiance was fading away. But their minds were made dull, for to this day the same veil remains when the old covenant is read. It has not been removed, because only in Christ is it taken away. Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is FREEDOM. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s GLORY, are being transformed into his likeness with ever increasing GLORY, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Matthew 18: 2 – 4

He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the magnificent ways You reveal Yourself to me, for allowing me to bask in Your love, in Your goodness and in Your beauty! Lord, help me not to allow the weeds to cover up Your glory. Help me to continually seek Your face and let my life be a marvelous reflection of Your Beauty. I love You. Amen.

May you see His glory and beauty today!

Live Abundantly!

Amy

P.S. Go to my 'links section' and you can hear Steven Curtis Chapman's song, Miracle of the Moment. My prayer for all who read my blog: May you all bask in the miracle of the moment!

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