Living On The Edge

Do you ever have moments when your heart is overcome with gratitude for God’s faithfulness? Tonight, this happened to me. Out of the blue, I felt emotions welling up inside me. I was daydreaming, thinking about all the ways the Lord has proven Himself faithful to me. He simply amazes me.

Just yesterday He did the sweetest thing for me. I was working at one of my cleaning jobs. I was at a chiropractor’s office contentedly cleaning, praying, thanking God for such a great way to make money. I was asking the Lord to send more jobs like it.  Since it fits so perfectly in my schedule,  only takes a few hours of my day, and the pay is good.

A few minutes later I noticed a missed call on my cell phone. It was the owner of the Equestrian Center where I’ve been working a few hours each week. She had called to ask if I would be interested in cleaning one of the rental properties that she owns. Her words were something like this, ‘It should be easy, and shouldn’t take very long’ (just what I had prayed for minutes earlier). Isn’t that just like our Faithful Father – to show His loving-kindness, to confirm His goodness in such a tangible way!

The skeptics would say, “Coincidences happen all the time!” But what the skeptics don’t know is how many stories I could share that would make even an atheist rethink his beliefs. I could fill many pages with written stories of God’s faithfulness. I’m trying to figure out a way to carve out the time to share these stories. The main reason I began writing this online journal is to record the testimonies of God’s goodness. I especially want my children and future grandchildren to hear my stories, so that when they hit hard times they will believe in His faithfulness and not lose heart.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sobbed tears of release, tears of joy for the ways the Lord has poured out His goodness on me. Quickly, I’ll share one story that comes to my mind. In 2001, during one of the many times my husband, Michael, was without work, he was self-employed, and he had hit a lull…a season of no business. It got to the point of desperation. We prayed together with our kids for God's intervention. We were crying out for the Lord to provide the money we needed to pay our monthly expenses. We got very detailed with our request…we asked Him for the exact amount we would need for the entire month.

The next morning, something happened that I’ll never forget. Michael was driving me to a babysitting job, and he received a call on his cell phone. On the other end of the phone line was an insurance agent explaining to Michael that a case from three years earlier had been settled. In 1998, I had been in a car accident where 2 cars had crashed into the back of my vehicle and totally destroyed it. The insurance companies of the two other people had been fighting it out in court, and we had not received a penny to cover the loss of our car.

So in 2001, years after the car accident, the day after desperately crying out to our Father for money - we were being informed we would be receiving money for our losses. The amount we had prayed for, the amount we needed to pay an entire month’s worth of bills and living expenses was the amount of the insurance check we received within 48 hours. How ‘bout that??

My heart is full and overflowing with stories of God’s love. These stories, the memories of His faithfulness are inscribed on my heart for all eternity. I have a deep desire to share them with the world. I want the world to see and taste that the Lord is good. He is EVERYTHING He says He is and more! He has shown me this…with real and concrete ways.

The ways the Lord reveals Himself to me are a gift to my heart. But I don’t want to paint a picture that depicts a life without moments of weariness. I have moments, in the midst of God’s awesomeness, when my flesh gets weak. I had one of those moments this week. I found out that one of my cleaning/organizing jobs is being cut back to one day a month. This means I’ll be losing a significant amount of monthly income that my family truly needs. We also discovered that one of the ways my husband had hoped to earn money didn’t come through. I was disappointed.

I went to bed one night this week feeling let down. As the tears were falling, I felt the Lord’s comforting embrace. I let His grace and love melt away the sadness. I woke up the next morning fresh, with faith-filled wings. The picture I’m trying to paint is that I am a weak human being, who is utterly dependent on my STRONG, POWERFUL, ALMIGHTY Creator. His STRENGTH is what keeps me going, keeps me holding my head high. His strength and love keep me moving forward with great expectation.

This is the Beauty of my life. Because I have become so dependent on my Creator, I am living the best life I have ever lived…not a perfect life, but a fulfilled, meaningful, exciting life! Waiting for His rescue missions exhilarates me…only if I fall into His arms during my weak moments. Waiting is the key word. I have learned that it’s not a good idea to take matters into my own hands, not to jump a head of God, not to thwart the good plans my Daddy has for me.

So here I am surrounded by peace, contentedness, sitting in a room filled with a sweet Spirit, reminiscing about God’s faithfulness. I keep thinking of the summer of 2006, the year my husband’s graphic design business shut down, and he was delivering pizzas trying to make ends meet. We were almost 3 months behind on our mortgage payments, at risk of losing our home of over 20 years.

Michael and I were hanging on by a thread to our faith, in other words, having a weak moment. A CD (a collection of different artists) that I had won was playing in the background. Michael noticed the words to the song, and went to turn the volume up. It was a song by Jeremy Camp, "I Still Believe". Neither of us had ever listened closely to the lyrics. That night we were drawn to the words of Jeremy’s song:

Scattered words and empty thoughts

Seem to pour from my heart

I've never felt so torn before

Seems I don't know where to start

But its now that I feel Your grace fall like rain

From every fingertip washing away my pain

I still believe in Your faithfulness

I still believe in Your truth

I still believe in Your holy word

Even when I don't see I still believe

Though the questions still fog up my mind

With promises I still seem to bear

Even when answers slowly unwind

It's my heart I see You prepare

But it's now I see Your grace fall like rain

From every fingertip washing away my pain

The only place I can go is into Your arms

Where I throw to You my feeble prayers in brokenness

I can see that this is Your will for me

Help me to know You are near.

Without speaking a word to one another, our spirits meshed into oneness as we listened to the song. We stood there in our kitchen tightly embracing one another, weeping, letting our loving Father pour out His GRACE on us. It was beautiful. It was as though the lyrics had been written precisely for that moment of our lives. I don’t believe either of us will ever forget that night. We will always remember the treasures God placed in our hearts during that season. And the Lord was gracious to us by allowing us to stay in our home of 22 years.

The Lord has been faithful to us through all the job losses, through the painful years of our marriage, through every disappointment, through every loss, through every trial. Jeremy Camp’s lyrics say it all. He wrote the song after the death of his wife, Melissa. I read a short biography about him that states that the song was written as “A declaration of faith of one who has walked through the fire.”

Michael and I listened to the song again tonight. It didn’t evoke quite the powerful emotions that it did the first time I listened to it. But it made me cry, it reminded me of all the ways God has shown His faithfulness. I feel His grace fall like rain in the midst of our trials.

I still believe in His faithfulness even though I don’t know for certain how God will provide enough income for our monthly expenses, even though I don’t know how our basic needs will be met, even though I don’t understand the recent death of a beloved friend, even though I don’t know what the outcome of the upcoming election will be, or what it will mean for our country. I Still Believe.


Psalm 36:5 (NASB)

Your loving-kindness, O LORD, extends to the heavens, Your faithfulness reaches to the skies.

Psalm 89:1 (NIV)

I will sing of the Lord’s great love forever; with my mouth I will make Your faithfulness known through all generations.


Dear Lord,

I am overwhelmed today by Your faithfulness. I praise You for Your goodness. May I spend my life sharing Your love and grace with those You place in my path. May I keep my eyes on You every moment of everyday. And may Your goodness flow out of my mouth continually. Amen.

Live Abundantly!
Amy

P.S. Go to my links section to hear Jeremy Camp's song, " I Still Believe."

Have you ever met someone you knew you were destined to be friends with from the moment you spoke to them? This happened to me in March, 2006. I was invited to attend a women’s class at a church near my home. I remember the first class very clearly. From the moment I heard the leader’s words, I was drawn to her giftedness. She was a gifted speaker, eloquently teaching the heart of our heavenly Father to a spiritually-hungry group of women. But it was more than her giftedness that I was drawn to. I was drawn to her spirit, her God-seeking, warrior-like spirit. After the first night of class, I felt compelled to meet her and thank her for the words she had spoken that night.

Within a day or two after our first meeting, we had a telephone conversation. It was an immediate connection. It didn’t take long for us to figure out why our spirits were drawn to one another. We quickly realized we had been experiencing a similar journey with the Lord – a dry, desert season.

Tears are flowing down my face as I’m writing this. Just remembering our first conversations makes me weep. Because for the first time, God had allowed me to connect with a person who could understand the hidden place I had been in... the steep, rocky road I had been walking for so many years.

God had given me the desire of my heart: To know someone who had experienced the heart circumcision I was undergoing.  It was a gift to meet someone who knew what I was saying when I spoke of the secret, hidden places of my heart. She knew the language of my heart.

She began speaking about her love of butterflies, and how the Lord had used this metaphor in her life. She had no idea how I had been using the analogy of the butterfly for years to describe what God was doing in my heart. She had no idea of the intimate way my heavenly Father had encouraged my heart using the example of a butterfly. I had butterfly books, butterfly jewelry – all sorts of butterfly things I had collected to share my passion with the world. And here was a woman who was just as passionate about these beautiful creatures.

Then I discovered she was a writer. Oh, those of you who write will understand this. The love of writing is inscribed on my heart. I’ve been doing it since I was 7 or 8 - keeping journals, writing poetry, writing stories, pouring my heart out to God through written words. I have stacks of journals. Some are in a basket in my closet. Others are in storage containers in my office. I am a writer…it’s just how God wired me. And here was a woman God had placed in my life that loves to write. Do you think this was a coincidence? I don’t. She began sending me devotions she had written. Her words, her heart blew my socks off! She was passionate about her Lord, her Papa. And what a gift for writing God had given her!

Another interesting thing I learned about my special friend – she loves the color purple. My heart skipped a beat when I heard someone say it was her favorite color at her birthday party last year. Purple has been my favorite color since I was a kid. I love finding the symbolism in everything. One of the symbols of the color purple is “Royalty.”

What made our friendship so meaningful was how God had been showing both of us we were His special treasure, His princess, His “Royalty.” I am certain that before He created each of us, He knew we would love the color purple, He knew we would be friends. He knew we would be passionate about sharing the love of Christ…longing for others to join in the deep, hidden intimacy found in the desert, wanting all to discover they are His Royalty.

Today, I am rejoicing over the birth and life of my friend – a gift sent from God to share in the joys and heartaches of life. I am thanking the Lord for the strong woman of God she is. She is truly a Proverbs 31 woman, a woman after God’s heart, a fierce warrior, a rock. How do I say thank you for such a beautiful treasure… a precious, priceless Jewel!

Happy Birthday, Julie!

Your Princess Warrior friend,

Amy

Proverbs 31:10 (KJV)

Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.

The breeze is gently blowing around me, and the sun is warming my cheeks as I’m writing this. I’m sitting on a grassy hill at the park watching my son and two of his neighborhood friends having a blast. This is pure refreshment – a wonderful way to spend a Sunday afternoon after a week of work. We’re at a skate park. It’s one of those places where there is a variety of ramps for the kids to practice their skating tricks and stunts.

There’s something about the sound of the rolling wheels and the clanking of the skateboards that is completely relaxing to me. I could stay here all day. It’s one of those moments that I can imagine I’ll remember twenty years from now. So I’m savoring it. I’m breathing in this moment – this moment of sharing in the joy of my son’s youth. It’s bringing back memories of my own skateboarding days. Maybe that’s what makes this so great, or maybe it’s just an opportunity to enter into the carefree, innocence of childhood.

The Lord has been teaching me to truly rest, to enjoy each precious moment. I am learning to breathe in the beauty of the present, instead of longing for the future. I am learning to bask in the place called ‘now’. I’m discovering the sense of wonder and adventure by returning to the innocent child I once was. It is fabulous. Is this what Jesus was speaking about when He said, “Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven”? Surely, this is the kingdom of heaven. I don’t know of anything that gets better than this. The stress has melted away, my body is rested. I feel alive. I feel youthful. I feel peaceful. I feel warmth inside, knowing my Lord has everything in control, while I am innocently playing like a child. Is this how He intended for it to be? It must be, because this is heavenly. My spirit is at rest…my heart is happy.

The sky is perfectly blue. There is not a cloud in sight. Blue skies, fresh air, and no worries – don’t we all pray at times for life to stay like this? There’s a lesson to be learned from this moment. I know Christ wants for my heart to stay in a state of ‘Blue Sky’ peace, even during the ‘Thunderstorm’ moments. He knows I am learning to do this. I am learning to rest in EVERY moment, no matter what it brings. I think I am getting it. On the difficult days, I am thriving on the joy He has placed inside me.

Christ has been continually speaking to my heart lately. I have never felt closer to Him. He is the greatest love of my life. Nothing compares to His love. He is my strength in the midst of the most physically demanding season of my life. Last January, when my husband lost his job, I realized I was going to have to work more than I ever had since becoming a mom. Even though God had already shown me He was trustworthy,  I still began pondering many questions: How would I be able to maintain my home? How would I be able to be a wonderful mom while working additional jobs? I didn’t want to stop home-schooling my son and I didn’t want to be stressed from working outside my home. At that time, I couldn’t have imagined how the Lord would bring ways for me to help support my family while maintaining the desires of my heart. Working the traditional Monday – Friday, 9 to 5 schedule sounded horrid to me. The Lord knew my heart. He knew my heart’s desire to be a loving, involved mom and a supportive, encouraging wife.

My heavenly Father heard my desires - I have proof - because He has fulfilled them. What an amazing God we serve. His creativity amazes me. This week it blew me away when I thought of all the ways God has brought for me to earn money, while enabling me to continue to home-school my son and keep my time with family my highest priority. All in the same week, I have worked at an Equestrian Center, taught several dance classes to little girls, cleaned a chiropractor’s office, and worked at a special event facility. Also, I have a job helping to organize a friend’s home several times a month. This past week I went from mucking horse stalls to wearing a tuxedo outfit and white gloves, serving wedding guests in an upscale ballroom. The funny thing is how much I enjoy every job. God certainly has a sense of humor! It makes me laugh when I think about all the different jobs I’ve stumbled upon. The jobs may not sound fun to others, but for me – they are delightful. Each job was tailor-made for me. I would love to share the details of how each job is a part of God’s designed plan for me. But my time is limited, so for now, I’ll have to simplify my story in 3 short words, “God is good!” I’ll save the rest of the details for later.

This morning, I opened my curtains and saw something that made me smile. Outside my bedroom window, there was a single, little, wild daisy plant growing in the midst of all the weeds that have overtaken my backyard. This sight triggered thoughts, emotions, and many memories of my life. What a perfect symbol of the beauty I have discovered in the middle of the weeds of my life. For years, the ugly weeds were taking over and crushing my spirit.  I felt defeated. Today, through Christ's love, I am more than a conquerer! Beauty has shown its face.

There is beauty all around me. Everywhere I look I see God’s beauty. When I’m cleaning the chiropractor’s office, I see His beauty in the “God Story” connected to the job. When I’m organizing my friend’s home, I see His beauty in the joy I am bringing to someone’s life. When I’m serving guests at a wedding reception, I see His beauty in the kindness of someone saying, “Thank you” to me. When I’m mucking horse stalls, I see His beauty in the gentleness of the horses and the freshness of the outdoor air. When I’m teaching tap and ballet, I see His beauty in the faces of the sweet, little girls.

I could go on forever listing the ways I see God’s beauty every single day. I saw His beauty today in a powerful way. Watching my son skate, play, seeing him filled with a care-free joy was blissful for me. On our way home, with the cool, fall air blowing in our hair, my son looked over at me and said, “Today was seriously the BEST day – it was awesome!” It must be contagious...basking in God’s beauty. I can’t wait to see more of His beauty revealed. Do you see God’s beauty all around you? Look around. Don’t focus on the chaos, the trials - the weeds that try to take over our lives. If we look hard enough we’ll see Christ’s face, we’ll see His glory…His Magnificent Beauty amongst the weeds!


Psalm 90:17 (King James Version)

And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us…

Romans 8:37 (NIV)

No, in all these things we are more than CONQUERERS through Him who LOVED us.

2 Corinthians 3:12 – 18 (NIV)

Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold. We are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to keep the Israelites from gazing at it while the radiance was fading away. But their minds were made dull, for to this day the same veil remains when the old covenant is read. It has not been removed, because only in Christ is it taken away. Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is FREEDOM. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s GLORY, are being transformed into his likeness with ever increasing GLORY, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Matthew 18: 2 – 4

He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the magnificent ways You reveal Yourself to me, for allowing me to bask in Your love, in Your goodness and in Your beauty! Lord, help me not to allow the weeds to cover up Your glory. Help me to continually seek Your face and let my life be a marvelous reflection of Your Beauty. I love You. Amen.

May you see His glory and beauty today!

Live Abundantly!

Amy

P.S. Go to my 'links section' and you can hear Steven Curtis Chapman's song, Miracle of the Moment. My prayer for all who read my blog: May you all bask in the miracle of the moment!

For as far back as I can remember I battled with fear of “Bad Guys.” I thought there was a monster living under my bed when I was little. I remember being tormented, as I lay awake in my bedroom of our very old house. I would hear noises in the attic, and I would want to sleep with my mom and dad. These kinds of fears lasted for years. As I grew older and grew closer to the Lord, my fears subsided. But occasionally, invasive thoughts of bad things have come back to visit.

The past few days have been a test for me. I very rarely feel gripped with fear, but this week I came face to face with some scary thoughts. To get right to the point, there is a guy at one of my workplaces that is hard for me to be around. I can see darkness all around him and tremendous hurt in his eyes. I get this eerie feeling in my gut when I’m near him. I can see how desperately he needs the Lord in his life. After several days of working with the man, I was feeling a tremendous burden as I faced the reality of the evil swirling around me. I was seeking God for answers, seeking to know whether the vibes I was discerning were truly accurate. I prayed with my family about the situation. While praying, I paused to allow the tears to flow as my spirit felt sympathy for this man who desperately needs Jesus.

Amazingly, the fear never got a full grip on me. But it was taunting me enough that I knew I had to pray fervently. I prayed over and over for the man to be drawn to Christ’s heart. Praying for the man wasn’t enough to sooth my spirit though. I needed to hear the voice of the Lord. I needed His comfort, His Spirit to show me I was being cared for in the midst of my feelings of uncertainty. My burden was heavy, and it wasn’t lifting. I asked the Lord to speak to me and encourage my heart.  My church family prayed for me during our worship service. My spirit was longing to know I had nothing to fear, to know I would be safely shielded in the shadow of God’s wings. After my church prayed, I felt better, but I was still battling with unrest in my spirit.

Today, I was looking for a scarf to wear. After searching for the color I needed, I left them in a pile on my bed. Later, I went back to put them away. I noticed a camouflage-colored bandana in the pile that had something that looked like a poem written in the center of it. I had never looked closely at it since it wasn’t one I really liked. I had brought it home from my grandmother’s apartment last year after she passed away. I didn’t like the colors of the bandana, and I had no sentimental attachment to it, but for some reason I kept it.  After having the bandana tucked away in my closet for over a year, I saw that the words were actually scriptures, and I felt compelled to read it.  I sat down on the edge of my bed and wept with a powerful sense of relief as I savored the words:

 “He who dwells in the secret place of The Most High, shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: My God, in Him I will trust. Surely He shall deliver me from the snare of the fowler and from the perilous pestilence. He shall cover me with His feathers, and under His wings I shall take refuge; His truth shall be my shield and buckler. I shall not be afraid of the terror by night, nor of the arrow that flies by day, nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday. A thousand may fall at my side, And ten thousand at my right hand; but it shall not come near me. Only with my eyes shall I look and see the reward of the wicked. Because I have made the Lord, Who is my refuge, even the Most High, my dwelling place. No evil shall befall me, nor shall any plague come near my dwelling; for He shall give His angels charge over me, to keep me in all my ways in their hands they shall bear me up, lest I dash my foot against a stone. I shall tread upon the lion and the cobra, the young lion and the serpent I shall trample underfoot. Because I have set my love upon Him, therefore He will deliver me; He will set me on high because I have known His name. I shall call upon Him, and He will answer me. He will be with me in trouble; He will deliver me and honor me. With long life He will satisfy me and show me His salvation.” (Psalm 91)

While wiping away my tears, my burden lifted, and my spirit settled into a warm, peaceful place. It’s hard to describe the magnitude of my relief. I can remember a time in my childhood when I felt something similar. Did you ever get lost as a child? I have a vivid memory of shopping in a department store with my grandmother, and getting separated from her. I was probably about 5 years old. I can still see myself standing there with a saleswoman feeling panicked and frightened. Thoughts were racing through my head: Would I be OK? Would I find my grandmother? Can you imagine the magnitude of my relief when I saw my grandmother’s face after being separated from her? The emotions were overwhelming as I ran to her and embraced her. This is how I felt today when I read Psalm 91. I was warmly held in my Father’s embrace, with an overwhelming sense of love and protection.

The Lord amazes me in His ability to encourage my heart. There is no way I can explain in words what finding these scriptures in a pile of scarves meant to me. The verses in Psalm 91 have ministered to me so many times. There is a song we sing at church that has the words of this Psalm for its lyrics. Every time we sing it my spirit soars.  I don't think there is a song that makes me want to worship and dance more than this one. The words melt my heart – they speak directly to the unsettled places inside me. While reading each word of Psalm 91, it was as though Christ was sitting there holding me tightly saying, “See, Amy, I will take care of you…I am showing you that I will.”

Each time He comes to my rescue, my heart falls deeper in love with Him.  I am in awe of the unique ways the Lord reveals His love. This day He chose a Psalm - the words of one of my favorite worship songs - to minister to me, to melt away my discomfort.  He always comes through for me. He always satisfies my soul. He calms me in a chaotic world. He shows me that there is solace and serenity waiting for me, when I run to Him in despair, when I run to my Father's arm...my dwelling place.   

Philippians 4:7 (Weymouth New Testament Translation)

“And then the peace of God, which transcends all our powers of thought, will be a garrison to guard your hearts and minds in union with Christ Jesus.”

Dear Lord,

Thank You for rescuing my heart in times of uncertainty. Thank You for the amazing ways You show me Your love and tender care. Thank You for the promise of protection for those who dwell in the shadow of Your wings. May there never be a day in my life that I’m not hiding in the secret place of Your love. Amen

Live Abundantly!

Amy

It's hard to put into words how I'm feeling at this moment. It's so much greater than any joy I've ever experienced. There's just a certainty in my spirit of God's love for me. I am in awe of the goodness of God - in awe of the way He encourages my heart. I love the way He shows His glory through signs and symbols.

Earlier this week, a friend reminded me of the significance of today's date.  As she was talking, I cupped my hands over my face and started to weep. The number  8 is Biblically symbolic of New Beginnings. But what's more important than that for me is how the Lord has encouraged  my heart by allowing so many New Beginnings in my life to somehow be connected to the number 8. The number popped up at times I had not expected it to. Every time, it has been such a confirmation of the Lord's great love for me.

So today is a special day for me. My heart is celebrating. I know I am in the midst of a season of New Beginnings. It's no longer something in the distance, seeming out of reach. I am right smack in the season of New Beginnings I knew was coming.

A few years ago, I was in a season of "cleaning out." It's funny how the things going on in the spiritual realm are symbolically represented by the things going on in the physical realm. I hope this makes sense. As God was cleaning out my heart, I was literally cleaning out my house. I had a room in my house that had accumulated a lot of junk that needed to be purged. It had become so easy for the whole family to throw things into our junk room. The Lord put a sense of urgency in my heart to get it cleaned up.

As I began cleaning out, I heard the Lord saying, "Out with the old, in with the New." Cleaning my junk room was a symbol of what God was doing in my heart - sloughing away the old, so the new could come. I remember telling a few friends that I could taste the new things God had for my life. While sorting through junk, trying to decide what was worth keeping, I pulled a large wall plaque out of a box. It was a sweet Noah's Ark plaque I had bought for my son's room when he was a baby. I froze when I read the words that were written on it: "Rainbows * Promises * New Beginnings."

It still brings tears to my eyes to think of that day. It was the confirmation I needed to truly KNOW in my spirit that God would bring forth all the things He had promised. I carried the plaque to church, proclaiming the goodness of God to anyone that would listen. I'm sure some of them were wondering, "What in the world does that silly plaque have to do with God's goodness?" But I knew it was the Lord's special gift to my heart. I have the plaque hanging over the doorway going into my kitchen. It has remained a reminder to me that God does keep His promises.

The Lord is the greatest encourager, greatest friend, greatest Daddy. He makes me want to sing and dance. His love is never ending and His promises are TRUE! This day, the 8th day of the 8th month of the year 2008 is, for sure, a symbol of HOPE. I am honored, I am privileged to be alive, to be a part of a glorious season of New Beginnings...08*08*08!

I Corinthians 15:46 NIV

"The spiritual did not come first, but the natural, and after that the spiritual."

Dear Lord,

What more can I say than...Thank You, Thank You, Thank You for Your unfailing, magnificent love. Thank You for all the New Beginnings You have brought to my life, and for all the ones to come. How can I repay You for Your goodness? My heart will sing You praises forever! Amen.

Live Abundantly!

It is truly the most exciting time of my life. After years of struggling internally, I feel free, my spirit is soaring. The bound places in my heart are wide open, no longer held back by fear. As I write this, tears of joy are welling up in my eyes. It’s overwhelming in a good way to think about the days when I lived my life as a scared little girl, not fully trusting my heavenly Father. I still feel like a little girl inside, but I’m not afraid anymore. I’m a little girl, sitting perfectly still in my Daddy’s arms. His big, strong arms keep me safe, keep me at peace. Because I know in my heart He is guarding over me. What an amazing FREEDOM it is to live life with no limits, with great expectations from a Daddy who loves me more than I can imagine!

It’s as though my life is a story that has already been written. Three years ago, the Lord encouraged me with some words that I think about often. I have these words recorded in my journal... “God has already written the story of our lives. All we need to do is rest and enjoy it as He turns the pages.” Since then I have been swept up into an amazing adventure, a story that keeps me longing for more. It feels like the times when I am reading a good book. It can be so difficult to put it down because of the anticipation of wanting to see what will happen next. This is my life – I am anxiously awaiting the good plans (Jeremiah 29:11) God has for me.

My husband, Michael, and I have embarked upon a new beginning that my spirit knows will certainly lead us to the destiny God has for us. About 4 weeks ago, Michael began classes at a tecnical college in our area. It may not sound too exciting to those standing afar, but to anyone that desires to hear the whole story, keep reading. 

In January, Michael was blindsided when he was told he was losing his job. After the initial surprise, we knew the Lord was up to something. We knew that it was no coincidence that Michael was without work for the 8^th time during our marriage. We knew that the Lord would be faithful to us the way He had been faithful to us all 7 of the other times. We knew we were in the center of His will, and He had us in the palm of His hand. I guess after walking a winding, hilly road so many times, it becomes so familiar that it just is not intimidating anymore. It’s awesome to think about how far the Lord has brought both of us since the first job loss.

So there we were, back to square one, wondering, “What’s next, Lord?” Panic never set in. Instead, Michael and I were both unbelievably hopeful. Not having a clue what the Lord wanted us to do next, we began seeking Him through prayer. The continual cry of our heart has been to know what His will is for our lives. We both have wanted desperately to do what He wants us to do. Sometimes it can be hard knowing exactly what God wants for us. We kept seeking His direction until we were certain we heard His voice.

Not too long after Michael lost his job, he shared with me that he had been thinking about our love for Africa, and our calling to go there some day. He had really been thinking about what we could do in Africa. What would be our purpose for going there? We had talked about this before, but this time I could see seriousness in Michael I had never seen. He asked me, “What are we going to do, just show up in Africa some day?” He continued saying that he believed there had to be a path that would lead us to the plans God has for us. He said he had been praying specifically that God would lead him to a field or a job that would eventually take us to Africa. He was praying for God to show him a real way to help the African people. I was touched that Michael had passionately embraced the vision that the Lord had first shown me. But neither of our minds could imagine what this would look like, or how we would end up in Africa. We tucked it in the back of our minds, and focused our prayers on asking the Lord to help us make it month to month without much of an income.

Several months went by, and as always the Lord provided for us beyond what we expected. He even threw in an over-the-top surprise, and blessed my socks off! That’s a story I’ll save for another day. By April, Michael was beginning to feel weary of living with the uncertainty. He had been without permanent, full-time work for nearly 3 months, with no sign of anything that seemed promising. He had found temporary part-time work, but there were no guarantees for how long this would last. In February, I had taken on a weekend job and an additional part-time job during the week, but our income was still about 50% of what it had been before Michael lost his job.

The job losses have been hard on the whole family. But for Michael, as the man, it has been much more difficult. He has taken a lot of knocks during the past 23 years. He has shared with me how hard it is for a man to be without a job. So much of a man’s worth can be wrapped up in what He does for a living. It has been a hard battle for him, especially since his wealthy father is such a huge success in the world’s eyes. In my eyes, Michael has found true success. I am proud of the man he has become through the adversity. He is a real man – a man after God’s heart.

In late April, during a quick stop at the store, I saw a couple we had known from years earlier. The woman had been my daughter’s assistant-teacher in the first grade. We stood there near the produce section catching up on our lives. I shared with them about Michael’s job loss. Our conversation led to the man sharing about a wonderful program, Workforce Investment Act (WIA). The program had provided a way for him to go back to school. He happily shared how his schooling had helped him find work. He wrote down all the information for the WIA Program on the back of their grocery list, and he encouraged me to go home and share the information with Michael.  So I did.

I can still envision the look on Michael’s face, when I handed him the scribbled-on paper, and began telling him about WIA. His downtrodden face lit up, and I saw passion spark up in him. He exclaimed, “This is the program I read about on the Internet!” He shared how he had been interested in the program, but had never moved forward with it. Right before my very eyes, Michael’s demeanor changed from weariness to an enthusiastic HOPEFULNESS that I hadn’t seen in him for a while. It was so obvious that God was doing something big. It was great! The next morning he was in the Workforce Investment Act office, and the ball began rolling. The woman he spoke with explained that he had to have a plan, a proposed idea of what degree he was seeking to earn. He had been rolling around one idea in his head for quite a while. There was something in him that was drawn to a field called, ‘Biomedical Engineering Technology,’ which focuses on managing and supporting the manufacture and use of sophisticated medical devices (such as imaging equipment) – and  technology in patient care. Before WIA would invest in Michael’s education, they had to know he was serious, and that he knew what he was getting into.

Michael’s next step was to set up an appointment with the school he hoped to attend. Within a few weeks, he was sitting in the office of the head professor (director) of the Biomedical Engineering Technology Program at the technical school close to our home. Without Michael sharing anything about his personal life, faith, etc. - the professor shared  how he planned to prepare a group of students for traveling abroad to study, and to help people in great need by working on medical equipment in the hospitals of third world countries. I bet you can guess where, YES, you’ve got it…Africa! In response, Michael said, “That’s interesting, because my wife and I feel called to Africa.” Later that day, Michael excitedly talked about the details of the meeting. He said it was an amazing thing to be sitting there at that moment with a distinguished, older professor, talking about Africa as both of their eyes filled with tears. He knew the Spirit of God was there.

It is undeniable that the Lord is in the midst of the path we are on. I don’t know about others, but I don’t believe in coincidences. God knew that Michael would end up sitting in that office and hear the words that were spoken about Africa. There is not an ounce of doubt in our minds. From that moment on, there has been no stopping us! We are on a mission, and we are going where God is leading us no matter what.

So here we are a few weeks into the 1^st quarter of Michael’s schooling.  It’s been stretching him, to say the least. Try to imagine being a 46 year old man going back to school after 25 years. The majority of his classmates are 18 years old. In the midst of the challenges, he’s doing a phenomenal job. He made a 90 on his first Algebra test! I’m so excited, I cannot contain it. The road leading us to where we stand today has been long and hard. I have watched Michael persevere through so many trials, while keeping his integrity. To see him excited, to see him come alive after decades of struggles is sweeter than someone handing me a million dollars. I would love to have a bigger income. But nothing compares to what I’m watching God do in our lives. There is no amount of money that could replace the gold that I see Him giving us.

For the first time in my life, things are making complete sense to me. I can see why we’ve had to go through one trial after another. God knew we would have never had the faith to step out into the unknown without enduring some tests first. We truly don’t know how the Lord will provide all our needs while Michael attends school, and while we continue to home-school our son (3 days a week). We are taking it one step at a time, trying not to look too far ahead. We are being obedient to what the Lord is saying to do right now. I’m working the jobs He has asked me to work. Michael is working minimal hours, doing some temporary work on occasional days. From our standpoint, it doesn’t seem possible for us to stay afloat while Michael earns a degree. Because presently, we can’t see the ways God will sustain us.

Michael had an interview on Monday for a permanent, part-time job. It seemed to be a good fit, the right amount of hours to fit in with his school schedule. But is it from God? We’ll have to wait and see – wait for the Lord to reveal His plan for Michael. We’re moving forward, without seeing the full picture. This is what faith is. We are believing God has good plans for us, and not looking back at the disappointments of the past. As Christians, we either believe what the Bible says, or we don’t. We are choosing to believe. The Lord has shown us what He’s capable of already. He’s the One that has gotten us this far. Every penny of Michael’s tuition is being paid for by grants offered through the Workforce Investment Act. His books were a fraction of the cost they could have been, because he was able to buy them used. We are going where God is taking us. We’re not chickening out now! With God on our side, what is there to fear? There is nothing to fear, absolutely nothing! I can rest in my Father’s arms. What could be better than sitting on Daddy’s lap, listening to His heart, and watching a beautiful story unfolding?

Jeremiah 29:11 (The Message)

"I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." 

Lord, thank You for the great adventure you’re taking us on. Help us to continually keep our eyes on You. Help us to hear Your voice and help us to carefully take each step in the direction You are leading us. May our faith continue to grow, and may You use our lives as a testament of Your goodness. Amen.

Live Abundantly!

Amy

To love and to be loved are the two greatest things we can experience in this life…I heard these words spoken during a wedding toast recently. I have to agree. There is nothing that compares to the fulfillment of loving someone deeply and experiencing his or her love in return.

Yet, I am continually being challenged in my ability to love fully. Loving someone who continually shows me love is not a hard thing. The difficulty comes in loving those that don’t seem lovable. If we only show love to those who are kind and caring, then why do we need Christ? Throughout my life, the Lord has allowed unloving people to cross my path.  I believe He has wanted to teach me how to love the way He loves – with no bounds.

I don’t know about everyone else, but for me, my marriage is by far the most challenging when it comes to continually showing true Christ-like love. The Lord has a way of bringing together complete opposites; this is what He did in my life, with my husband and me. It’s kind of funny when I think about how totally opposite we are. My husband is an introvert - I am an extrovert.  He is a morning person – I am a night person. He is a reserved, more serious person – I am a free-spirited person. He is a ‘plan every detail’ kind of person - I am a ‘go with the flow’ kind of person. He is more of a spender – I am more of a saver. He is more laid back about housekeeping – I am the ‘wants everything in its place’ kind of person. The list goes on…I could go on listing more differences in our God-given personalities. And I didn’t even mention the natural differences there are in men and women. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about: The “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” thing. That’s a whole separate topic!

For better or for worse…There’s a reason we said these words in our marriage vows. Because when two people come together with completely opposite natures – there will be friction. There is no way to get around it. One time, I heard someone say that they would prefer to have a mate with a similar personality to theirs. Not me! It would be totally boring to spend the rest of my life with someone like myself. My husband was made for me - there is no doubt about it.

But knowing we were made for each other doesn’t keep us from being tested in our ability to truly love one another. The marriage relationship is the most powerful way to live out our Christianity. It is the perfect opportunity to live out our beliefs, and share Christ’s love with the person closest to us. As husband and wife, we are bonded like no other bond.  

There is no one on this earth that knows me more intimately than my husband, not even my mother and father. When the Lord began tearing down walls that were between my husband and me, a deep level of intimacy began growing. We began sharing our deepest fears, our hurts and our wildest dreams with each other. We laid out our most valuable treasures to share with the other, trusting that they would be delicately treated.

It has been a beautiful thing. But as the depth of our marriage has grown, so has the cost. Our ability to hurt each other is much greater now. When we were holding tightly onto the deepest parts of our souls, it was safer. There wasn’t so much at stake. Now my husband holds the most valuable part of me in his hand – my heart. I have given all of it to him, not small parts. He has it all. The only One who exceeds this bond is Christ. It is my bond with Christ that has allowed me to open my heart fully to my husband.  Without Christ’s love, I would have to keep my heart guarded and protected, living in mediocrity. I did this for many years. I lived and loved half-heartedly. I was too busy trying to protect myself from hurt to really love the way I know Christ intends for me to. The cost was too high for me. I knew that if I dared to love as Christ loves, I could end up getting hurt. So I didn’t take many risks.

Things started changing when I allowed Christ to begin healing the wounded places in my heart. As He healed each wound, a piece of the protective shield that surrounded my heart began breaking away. I began opening myself to my husband in ways I never had before. I began sharing every part of my heart with him – not holding back anything, letting him see my bare soul.  I remember consciously making a decision a few years ago to love hard no matter what the cost. It hasn’t been as easy as I thought it was going to be. My unguarded heart is vulnerable and when hurt is inflicted, it can go deep. Loving hard, loving fully means hurting sometimes. That’s part of it.

The marriage relationship is the place that love is tested the most. The closeness in the relationship forces us to face our differences. The only other option is to grow apart, living together in the same house. What’s the point in that? We didn’t get married to be roommates. We want to be lovers and best friends.

Recently, I was in the midst of a test in my ability to love my husband fully. My feelings had been hurt, and I was having a hard time letting it go. I just kept thinking, “I have a right to feel this way.” My flesh was demanding its way. I wanted my husband to come to me and make it right. Instead of loving fully, I allowed a wall to go up between us. Those protective barriers were creeping back. I had an option, I could either keep waiting on him to come and make it right, or I could let go of my hurt and be the initiator of the reconciliation. It’s so much easier to wait, let him come to me, and let him admit his wrong. It feels better that way.

After contemplating my choices for a while, I ended up in my secluded place with the Lord, praying these words: Lord Jesus, what would You do in the situation I am in? He immediately answered: “LOVE - expecting NOTHING in return.” It hit me like a ton of bricks!  My mind was bombarded with thoughts: “How can I do this, everything in me wants something in return.” The Lord flooded out my thoughts with this Bible verse: “I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13). He continued speaking to my heart. He was nudging me to go read 1 Corinthians 13. I knew this chapter well. Our pastor read it at our wedding. I had read it dozens of times throughout my life. I sensed the Lord saying to read it in the Living Bible translation. I went into our office, pulled my old Bible off the bookshelf, and began reading these words:

Love is very patient, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish or rude. Love DOES NOT demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will HARDLY EVER NOTICE when others do it wrong. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out. If you love someone you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him.

By the time I got to the end, I was weeping in repentance. I asked the Lord to forgive me for the mistake I had made.  I had gotten so caught up in what wrong had been inflicted on me that it was all I could see. Letting go hurts. Loving someone regardless of the hurt that may have been imposed is hard. It means I have to die to my desires to be heard - die to my desires to be understood. It means putting others’ feelings before mine. Mother Teresa knew how to love. She understood that sometimes loving hurts. She once said: “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”

Since that night when the Lord spoke boldly to me about love, I have stayed focused on the words in Corinthians 13. I have read it over and over. I have prayed for the Lord to continually allow me to be an instrument of His unconditional love. I want to love with no bounds, take every risk possible, and love at all costs. The awards are amazing. The irony I see in all of this is that when I hold back and don’t love fully, I am sabotaging my chances for the deep connection my spirit is craving. I get caught up in the belief that holding back will protect me from hurt. Actually, when I hold back I am hurting myself more. I miss out on the really good stuff. When I dive in, loving my husband as hard as I possibly can - the desires of my heart are fulfilled. Each time I take a risk, it hurts at the moment to deny my own needs, but in the long run my marriage is blessed beyond measure; the romantic love returns, the passion comes alive, and our relationship flourishes.

God made no mistake when he chose my husband for me. He knew my weaknesses needed to be my husband’s strengths, and that my strengths needed to be his weaknesses. We need each other. This is what oneness is about (Genesis 2:24). It is a process of learning, and taking a lifetime to learn to love. It’s amazing – this thing called love. There is no greater power than the power of love. It’s worth the risk. It’s worth the tears. It’s worth diving in as deep as you can go…because no matter what - Love Never Fails!

1 Corinthians 13:8

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge; it will pass away. NIV

Lord, thank you for allowing me to experience the power of love! Thank you for the deep love my husband and I share. I pray that our love will continue to deepen and grow beyond anything we can imagine. May our lives together be a beautiful example of Your love. Amen.

Live Abundantly!

~Amy

My article for Intercessory Prayer Network SE:                                                     

There are countless questions surrounding God and His kingdom. As humans, we long to understand the mysteries of our Creator. There is really no way to have all of our questions answered while living in our present bodies. But I have discovered He does give us some of the answers we long for.

For many years, I didn’t understand God at all. I knew He created me, and I knew I was His child. But when disappointment and difficulty arose in my life, I felt betrayed. I felt like God didn’t really care about me. I continued pressing on, clinging to the scriptures I had studied. Little by little, I began seeing the truth, as God showed me in tangible ways how His kingdom works. There are dozens of examples of God’s goodness written on my heart. The most recent example outdoes them all.

Last fall, I went out on a limb with the Lord, trusting Him with plans for my daughter.  She was beginning her senior year of high school with no plans for her future. The one thing she knew, without a doubt, was that she was called to study photography. She had recently seen a small, private college that intrigued her. My daughter discovered that the school held what she was looking for - an exceptional photography program.

There was one major problem. Due to job losses, we had no college fund. The private school’s tuition was two-thirds higher than the local public college. The Hope Scholarship, which Georgia residents receive, only covers a small percentage of a private school’s tuition. It seemed like an impossible choice. After all, “Plan B” would be much more feasible. My daughter could attend the public college free with the Hope Scholarship. But she would be settling for less – there is not a photography program at the public school.

We had a choice to make. Would we face our fears and go after what we believed was God’s plan, or just settle? We began seeking God, and He answered. I heard Him saying, “Why consider Plan B, if we know that God’s best for our daughter’s life is Plan A?” So our journey of trust began. Walking in blind faith, we put one foot in front of the other to move toward the vision God had given us. Challenges arose throughout the process, but we kept moving, kept trusting.

After 8 months of waiting, we received the news we had prayed about and trusted God for. My daughter received a total of 7 scholarships and grants (gifts, not loans) to pay for the private college. The Lord gave us the vision, we chose to believe, and He fulfilled it! I wept with joy over what the Lord had done.

The Bible tells us we can move mountains with the faith of a mustard seed (Matthew 17:20). What mountains are you moving? Don’t settle for anything less than God’s best.

1. Seek FIRST God's kingdom (Matthew 6:33).

2. BELIEVE God has good plans for you. (Jeremiah 29:11).

3. FEARLESSLY go after that which the Lord has called you to (Isaiah 41:13).

2 Corinthians 5:7

"We live by faith, not by sight."

Lord, thank You for coming through for me in the most unbelievable ways! Thank You for Your goodness, Your grace, and Your mercy. Help me to continually live by FAITH, not by sight. Let my life be a shining example of the HOPE You bring! Amen.

Live Abundantly!

Amy

I feel like dancing! I want to shout to the world the goodness of God! He never ceases to amaze me. He fills my heart with joy! He gives me life. He is my life! If people knew what they could have in Christ, they would be sprinting as fast as they possibly could to sit at His feet. People that do not know me, and hear of the trials I have endured during the past decade and a half, would certainly ask, “How can she rejoice in the midst of difficulties?” If they had the desire to listen, I would gladly share my secret. It really is no secret – it is the gift that was given to all mankind over 2000 years ago.

I have not always had the joy, the peace, the restful heart that I have today. For quite a number of years I let the trials and difficulties rule my life. I remember a time when a man at my church walked over to me and asked a question about my demeanor. He asked, “Amy, why do you look like your dog just died?” I came home and thought long and hard about his question. It was a defining moment in my life. The question catapulted me into a search - a long, hard search for the key to happiness.

As a child growing up, a misleading picture had been painted for me about Christianity. And I bought into some mistruths about who Jesus is. Since my search for happiness began, Jesus has been showing me who He REALLY is. It has been an adventurous journey, leading me to a full life in Christ. It keeps getting better and better, as I grow closer to His heart and taste the goodness He gives to me. He keeps me on the edge of my seat waiting to see what is next for my life.

In 2005, I began tasting the goodness of God like never before. The Lord used my priest, Father Kurt, to bring forth tremendous fruit in my life. Father Kurt sensed the Holy Spirit urging our church to begin a season of fasting. On several different occasions, he asked us to join him in a fast for up to forty days. There is no question about it. IT CHANGED MY LIFE! These fasts were not typical. Most people think of food when they think of fasting. He asked us to fast from food, but he also asked us to temporarily refrain from anything that could be hindering our relationship with Christ. - T.V., computers, blogging, cell phones and so on. At the time, I did not even know what a blog was, but trust me I had plenty of things to fast from. A challenging one for me was the TV.  I am sure this sounds like pure torture. You may be thinking, “How dare that man ask people to give up these perfectly normal things!” I promise it was not a controlling thing at all. He never tried to force anybody to do this. It was simply an exercise he wanted us to try, if we felt led by God. And it was very temporary.

I cannot remember exactly how many different times I fasted. But there is one thing I know for certain - I experienced Christ, like I never had before, and I have never been the same! During the fasting, I was healed of a physical ailment I had suffered from for nearly 3 years. Most importantly, addictions were broken in my life, and I found a New Addiction.

I have a favorite memory from my season of fasting. I smile when I think of the day I called a Christian radio station and won a Christian CD. It was a CD with a collection of songs from various Christian artists. The day it arrived at my house, I popped it in my CD player and I began to hear the lyrics of Kirk Franklin. I had never heard of him until then. The song was titled, “Stomp!” I wrote in my journal that the song was my theme song during the fast, and it described exactly how I was feeling.

 The main chorus:

Lately I've been going through some things that's really got me down.
I need someone, somebody to help me come and turn my life around.
I can't explain it, I can't obtain it. Jesus your love is so, it's so amazing.
It gets me high, up to the sky, and when I think about your goodness it makes me wanna stomp.
Makes me clap my hands. Makes me wanna dance and stomp.
My brother can't you see I've got the victory. STOMP!!!

Today, I own 4 of Kirk Franklin’s CDs. I am jamming to his music right now. My daughter walked into the room a few minutes ago, and asked, “Are you having a little party?”  I am having a party - in my heart! I am so happy. I am so blessed to know Jesus in the intimate way that I do. He is everything to me. So if you ask, “How can you be so happy when things are uncertain in your life?” My certainty is in Jesus. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow (Hebrews 13:8). No matter what is going on around me, I can run to His arms and feel peace. Nothing can take Jesus away from me. Everything else in this world will pass away, but Jesus will be here for all of eternity. It is hard to wrap our brains around that. Jesus is REAL. There is nothing that satisfies like Him.

There is not a drug, not an alcoholic beverage, not an obsession that will fill your heart like Jesus can. I have seen a testimony of this with my own eyes. I watched as the Lord delivered two of my family members of alcohol addiction.  Jesus began filling the empty places in their hearts, and they have never needed a drink since then. I have stayed far away from alcohol because of the addiction I saw in my family. Even though I have never had an addiction to alcohol or drugs, I have seen how it destroys lives. I have had enough struggles in my life to understand what it is like to experience pain and hurt, and how easy it can be to run to other things besides God to numb myself and escape. So when I am tempted to run to substitutes for God, I stop, and the Lord reminds me that to experience the fullness of life and to have the happiness I desire – I must run to Him. I must be saturated, obsessed, fully consumed, and addicted to Jesus!

Isaiah 58: 6

Is this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of INJUSTICE and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed FREE and break every yoke? NIV

1 John 2: 16-17

For everything in the world – the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does – comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. NIV

Lord, I thank You and praise You for the obsession I have in You. It is the one addiction that will not destroy my life - it brings me life! Lord, I am amazed by Your love and Your continual pursuit of me. I am amazed at how You are always ready, waiting, available for me to run to, when I am hurting. I am amazed by how You are never angry at me, how You lovingly guide me to righteousness when I mess up. I am amazed by how You make ALL things work together for good in my life. I am amazed by how You give me the desires of my heart before I even ask. You know every thought, every concern, You have captured every tear, You have soothed my soul in my times of deep hurt. You have given me Beauty for Ashes, laughter instead of hopelessness, faith instead of fear. You are my life!

Now, I pray that each and every person that reads this will be touched by Your love in a mighty way! I pray that You will pursue them relentlessly, and that they will fall passionately in love with You. Lord, let Your light shine through all of us as Your children, so that the world will see Your goodness! Amen.

Do you desire to experience the fullness of life? Pray today for Jesus to be your obsession. You will never be the same!

 Live Abundantly!

~Amy

This week, we held our last worship service in the building that our congregation bought and began restoring 3 ½ years ago. Christ the Redeemer, established in 1999, rejoiced over a long-awaited dream come true when we moved into our building. Now, with mixed emotions, we are leaving the building behind. Our small group of parishioners can no longer bear the financial burden of owning the building. It is bittersweet saying goodbye to what we have become attached to. Many have poured their time, energy, and hearts into turning a diamond in the rough into a beautiful place of worship. The building itself is a symbol of the great work and renovation God has done in our lives. There are countless memories connected to the quaint, little church.

My best memory is of the time our priest, Father Kurt, asked the entire congregation to participate in a 21 day fast. Father Kurt requested for members to visit the church each of the 21 days, to pray. Upon hearing the request, hands quickly popped up in the air. A deacon counted the hands, and there were 21 volunteers – precisely the right number! This was a sign to all of us that God had ordained this fast. Father Kurt encouraged us to come and pray at the church as many times as possible during the fast. My husband and I knew the Lord was calling us to make daily visits to our sacred building. One of us went there each day to meditate and pray.

The very first morning of the fast, I woke up with great anticipation of what the Lord was going to do. Shortly after waking up, I packed up my son’s home-schooling necessities, and we headed to the church. We sat on the floor in front of the altar, where we usually kneel for communion. I prayed and wrote in my journal. I felt tremendous peace, and I knew the Lord was with us. The time passed so quickly. Before I knew it, we had been there for three hours, breathing in the sweet Spirit of Jesus. I have 41 journal pages written about all God was showing me during those days of fasting.

There is one thing that seemed most significant about the fast. God was breaking things away. While praying, I had a vision of the members of our church holding hands, encircling the building – a symbol of the spirit of unity that was filling our hearts. Throughout those 21 days, prayers were offered up, visions were seen, and dreams were dreamt, sitting there at the altar of my church. It was surreal. There are really no words to explain what happened in those hours of prayer. The memories will be in my heart forever.

So as I face a time of transition, and leave behind a place of worship, my heart is touched and a little sad. It is never easy making a change. We have grown as a congregation in this building – not in numbers, in fact, many have left. But for those of us who have stayed, our hearts have been circumcised, stretched, renewed and tested. It has been kind of like a special edition of “The Survivor Show,” watching who would survive the pruning. Some have questioned what God is doing with our little church. I believe He has been preparing us for the vision He has for us. He has been building our church on a strong foundation, getting us ready for what is to come. This feels like an ending. But it is really a “New Beginning.” Here we are in 2008, a year of new beginnings. The Lord has been sloughing away the dead places in our hearts, gearing us up for a new season. The best is yet to come!

I will miss our building, and I will certainly shed some tears. But is the church really about the building? No, it is not. I see clearly that it is about the group of people God has chosen for me to worship with, grow with, bear my burdens with, journey with, and celebrate life with – this is my family, my home, my church.

Thank you, my beloved church!

 ~Amy
 

Romans 15: 5 – 6

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.  NIV

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