Living On The Edge

I feel like dancing! I want to shout to the world the goodness of God! He never ceases to amaze me. He fills my heart with joy! He gives me life. He is my life! If people knew what they could have in Christ, they would be sprinting as fast as they possibly could to sit at His feet. People that do not know me, and hear of the trials I have endured during the past decade and a half, would certainly ask, “How can she rejoice in the midst of difficulties?” If they had the desire to listen, I would gladly share my secret. It really is no secret – it is the gift that was given to all mankind over 2000 years ago.

I have not always had the joy, the peace, the restful heart that I have today. For quite a number of years I let the trials and difficulties rule my life. I remember a time when a man at my church walked over to me and asked a question about my demeanor. He asked, “Amy, why do you look like your dog just died?” I came home and thought long and hard about his question. It was a defining moment in my life. The question catapulted me into a search - a long, hard search for the key to happiness.

As a child growing up, a misleading picture had been painted for me about Christianity. And I bought into some mistruths about who Jesus is. Since my search for happiness began, Jesus has been showing me who He REALLY is. It has been an adventurous journey, leading me to a full life in Christ. It keeps getting better and better, as I grow closer to His heart and taste the goodness He gives to me. He keeps me on the edge of my seat waiting to see what is next for my life.

In 2005, I began tasting the goodness of God like never before. The Lord used my priest, Father Kurt, to bring forth tremendous fruit in my life. Father Kurt sensed the Holy Spirit urging our church to begin a season of fasting. On several different occasions, he asked us to join him in a fast for up to forty days. There is no question about it. IT CHANGED MY LIFE! These fasts were not typical. Most people think of food when they think of fasting. He asked us to fast from food, but he also asked us to temporarily refrain from anything that could be hindering our relationship with Christ. - T.V., computers, blogging, cell phones and so on. At the time, I did not even know what a blog was, but trust me I had plenty of things to fast from. A challenging one for me was the TV.  I am sure this sounds like pure torture. You may be thinking, “How dare that man ask people to give up these perfectly normal things!” I promise it was not a controlling thing at all. He never tried to force anybody to do this. It was simply an exercise he wanted us to try, if we felt led by God. And it was very temporary.

I cannot remember exactly how many different times I fasted. But there is one thing I know for certain - I experienced Christ, like I never had before, and I have never been the same! During the fasting, I was healed of a physical ailment I had suffered from for nearly 3 years. Most importantly, addictions were broken in my life, and I found a New Addiction.

I have a favorite memory from my season of fasting. I smile when I think of the day I called a Christian radio station and won a Christian CD. It was a CD with a collection of songs from various Christian artists. The day it arrived at my house, I popped it in my CD player and I began to hear the lyrics of Kirk Franklin. I had never heard of him until then. The song was titled, “Stomp!” I wrote in my journal that the song was my theme song during the fast, and it described exactly how I was feeling.

 The main chorus:

Lately I've been going through some things that's really got me down.
I need someone, somebody to help me come and turn my life around.
I can't explain it, I can't obtain it. Jesus your love is so, it's so amazing.
It gets me high, up to the sky, and when I think about your goodness it makes me wanna stomp.
Makes me clap my hands. Makes me wanna dance and stomp.
My brother can't you see I've got the victory. STOMP!!!

Today, I own 4 of Kirk Franklin’s CDs. I am jamming to his music right now. My daughter walked into the room a few minutes ago, and asked, “Are you having a little party?”  I am having a party - in my heart! I am so happy. I am so blessed to know Jesus in the intimate way that I do. He is everything to me. So if you ask, “How can you be so happy when things are uncertain in your life?” My certainty is in Jesus. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow (Hebrews 13:8). No matter what is going on around me, I can run to His arms and feel peace. Nothing can take Jesus away from me. Everything else in this world will pass away, but Jesus will be here for all of eternity. It is hard to wrap our brains around that. Jesus is REAL. There is nothing that satisfies like Him.

There is not a drug, not an alcoholic beverage, not an obsession that will fill your heart like Jesus can. I have seen a testimony of this with my own eyes. I watched as the Lord delivered two of my family members of alcohol addiction.  Jesus began filling the empty places in their hearts, and they have never needed a drink since then. I have stayed far away from alcohol because of the addiction I saw in my family. Even though I have never had an addiction to alcohol or drugs, I have seen how it destroys lives. I have had enough struggles in my life to understand what it is like to experience pain and hurt, and how easy it can be to run to other things besides God to numb myself and escape. So when I am tempted to run to substitutes for God, I stop, and the Lord reminds me that to experience the fullness of life and to have the happiness I desire – I must run to Him. I must be saturated, obsessed, fully consumed, and addicted to Jesus!

Isaiah 58: 6

Is this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of INJUSTICE and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed FREE and break every yoke? NIV

1 John 2: 16-17

For everything in the world – the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does – comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. NIV

Lord, I thank You and praise You for the obsession I have in You. It is the one addiction that will not destroy my life - it brings me life! Lord, I am amazed by Your love and Your continual pursuit of me. I am amazed at how You are always ready, waiting, available for me to run to, when I am hurting. I am amazed by how You are never angry at me, how You lovingly guide me to righteousness when I mess up. I am amazed by how You make ALL things work together for good in my life. I am amazed by how You give me the desires of my heart before I even ask. You know every thought, every concern, You have captured every tear, You have soothed my soul in my times of deep hurt. You have given me Beauty for Ashes, laughter instead of hopelessness, faith instead of fear. You are my life!

Now, I pray that each and every person that reads this will be touched by Your love in a mighty way! I pray that You will pursue them relentlessly, and that they will fall passionately in love with You. Lord, let Your light shine through all of us as Your children, so that the world will see Your goodness! Amen.

Do you desire to experience the fullness of life? Pray today for Jesus to be your obsession. You will never be the same!

 Live Abundantly!

~Amy

This week, we held our last worship service in the building that our congregation bought and began restoring 3 ½ years ago. Christ the Redeemer, established in 1999, rejoiced over a long-awaited dream come true when we moved into our building. Now, with mixed emotions, we are leaving the building behind. Our small group of parishioners can no longer bear the financial burden of owning the building. It is bittersweet saying goodbye to what we have become attached to. Many have poured their time, energy, and hearts into turning a diamond in the rough into a beautiful place of worship. The building itself is a symbol of the great work and renovation God has done in our lives. There are countless memories connected to the quaint, little church.

My best memory is of the time our priest, Father Kurt, asked the entire congregation to participate in a 21 day fast. Father Kurt requested for members to visit the church each of the 21 days, to pray. Upon hearing the request, hands quickly popped up in the air. A deacon counted the hands, and there were 21 volunteers – precisely the right number! This was a sign to all of us that God had ordained this fast. Father Kurt encouraged us to come and pray at the church as many times as possible during the fast. My husband and I knew the Lord was calling us to make daily visits to our sacred building. One of us went there each day to meditate and pray.

The very first morning of the fast, I woke up with great anticipation of what the Lord was going to do. Shortly after waking up, I packed up my son’s home-schooling necessities, and we headed to the church. We sat on the floor in front of the altar, where we usually kneel for communion. I prayed and wrote in my journal. I felt tremendous peace, and I knew the Lord was with us. The time passed so quickly. Before I knew it, we had been there for three hours, breathing in the sweet Spirit of Jesus. I have 41 journal pages written about all God was showing me during those days of fasting.

There is one thing that seemed most significant about the fast. God was breaking things away. While praying, I had a vision of the members of our church holding hands, encircling the building – a symbol of the spirit of unity that was filling our hearts. Throughout those 21 days, prayers were offered up, visions were seen, and dreams were dreamt, sitting there at the altar of my church. It was surreal. There are really no words to explain what happened in those hours of prayer. The memories will be in my heart forever.

So as I face a time of transition, and leave behind a place of worship, my heart is touched and a little sad. It is never easy making a change. We have grown as a congregation in this building – not in numbers, in fact, many have left. But for those of us who have stayed, our hearts have been circumcised, stretched, renewed and tested. It has been kind of like a special edition of “The Survivor Show,” watching who would survive the pruning. Some have questioned what God is doing with our little church. I believe He has been preparing us for the vision He has for us. He has been building our church on a strong foundation, getting us ready for what is to come. This feels like an ending. But it is really a “New Beginning.” Here we are in 2008, a year of new beginnings. The Lord has been sloughing away the dead places in our hearts, gearing us up for a new season. The best is yet to come!

I will miss our building, and I will certainly shed some tears. But is the church really about the building? No, it is not. I see clearly that it is about the group of people God has chosen for me to worship with, grow with, bear my burdens with, journey with, and celebrate life with – this is my family, my home, my church.

Thank you, my beloved church!

 ~Amy
 

Romans 15: 5 – 6

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.  NIV

My monthly article written for: Intercessory Prayer Network SE

Pain, sorrow, disappointment, heartache, sadness -- these are a part of life. There is nothing we can do to escape the difficulties of life. At one time or another we will all experience a time of grief. Recently, I have heard more stories of sorrow than ever before. My heart sunk deep into my chest when I heard the most tragic news of the year. Steven Curtis Chapman's 5 year old daughter died after being struck by a car. I cannot imagine the depth of pain the Chapmans are experiencing. How does someone process such a devastating loss? How will they begin a new life? I have experienced enough sorrow to know the answer to these questions.

Eleven years ago, I was in the midst of what I believe was the most painful season of my life. I had fallen prey to the victim mentality, and I was surrounded by misery. I was struggling to understand God and why He was allowing so much suffering. Late one night, the Lord reminded me of the suffering He experienced on the cross. I could hear Him speaking these words to me: “It is through pain and sorrow that you will understand My suffering and grow close to Me.” My heart began changing. I realized that I was not a victim. The Bible says, as Christians, we are to be imitators of Christ (Ephesians 5:1). How can we be imitators of Christ without experiencing some suffering? Christ's life was defined by suffering. He experienced every kind of rejection, pain, and sorrow known to mankind. Yet He embraced the sorrow and knew this was His Father's will.

God never promised that there would be no sadness. He promised that He would never leave us nor forsake us. In our suffering - if we seek God - the pain will bring us closer to His heart, and we will experience His loving embrace. It is in the valley that we gain the most valuable treasures. Just like a pearl gets its beauty from an irritant trapped inside the shell, our hearts are shaped and purified by the trials we endure. Compassion and mercy grow in our hearts during seasons of mourning, making us powerful intercessors.

Do you desire to find God's treasures in the midst of grief? When facing difficulties, we can either be a victim, or we can be a victor. Choose to live as a victor, and allow Christ's love to heal the hurt during seasons of sorrow. These simple steps can help us on the journey:

 
1. Join a support group. Healing comes faster through the love and comfort of others.

2. Start a gratitude journal - write a daily prayer of thanks. Thankfulness has a way of eradicating self-pity.

3. Resist the temptation of burying emotions - let the tears flow. The Lord has given us a gift of tears to cleanse our soul as we experience sorrow. Psalm 126:5 says, "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy."

To live in victory, we must know there is a purpose to our pain. The very pain we are experiencing today is possibly the ministry tool God will use in the future. He may need us to intercede and minister to a family like the Chapmans, who are grieving a tremendous loss. Trust that the Lord has a bigger plan, and begin embracing sorrow.

Live Abundantly!
~Amy

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