Living On The Edge

Twenty-three years ago on this day, I stood before God with my husband, Michael, and entered into the covenant of marriage. There was no way I could fully understand the meaning of the vows we made that day.  But there was one thing I knew for certain. The one I promised to honor and love until death - he was created for me.

Throughout my childhood, my grandmother talked about her prayers for my future husband. She often told me that she was praying for the man I would marry. She would tell me she had been praying regularly for my husband since I was an infant. Because of her words, I possessed a unique confidence -  I believed there was a special man somewhere in the world waiting to reveal his love for me.

Twelve days after my eighteenth birthday, my prince arrived at last! Within six weeks, I knew he was the man I would marry. I wrote about it in my journal, in my own special code. To boldly write the words, seemed scary - after all, I was only eighteen. What would everyone say if they discovered my secret? So I kept my secret in my heart until four weeks later, when I received the surprise of my life.

Ten weeks after we met, Michael whisked me away to the beautiful North Georgia Mountains. He planned a day of hiking for us, and led me to a breathtaking waterfall called Helton Creek Falls. While I was sitting on a tree limb in front of the waterfall, Michael got down on his knee and presented me with a magnificent diamond ring. In his knightly way, he asked, “Will you marry me?” Even though I had known in my heart - Michael was the one for me, the question caught me off guard. The word “marriage” had never come out of either of our mouths. It had only been seven days since Michael had first told me he loved me. I didn’t know that he had been having the same intuitive thoughts I had about our destiny together. He knew if he waited much longer the element of surprise would be lost. His plan worked. I was taken by complete surprise!  The word, “Yes!” popped out of my mouth quicker than my mind could fully comprehend what was happening. I was overjoyed, utterly amused by the thought of being his bride. It was a dream come true – one I had replayed over and over in my head while pretending to be a princess when I was a young girl. Today, it evokes emotions in me, remembering the beauty of the summer we first fell in love. It was everything screenplay writers and poets write about. It was magical. If I had not been so young, I believe we would have married the summer we met.

We got married nineteen months later on April 27, 1985. The wedding was a beautiful picture of Christ and His bride. We were two young Christians, passionately in love, making a pledge to walk in oneness. Some of the memories are crystal clear to me, others are not as clear. I have a 27 page "Memory Book" I wrote about our wedding and honeymoon that helps to fill in the gaps. There is one detail I'll always remember: The Spirit of God was so powerful that day. While we were taking communion, I wept as I sensed the Holy Spirit reigning over us. It was truly a union ordained by God. In my memory book, I expressed my joy about something many of our wedding guests said: Our wedding was the most meaningful ceremony they had ever attended. I believe our guests were sensing the powerful presence of our Lord that day.

After celebrating with our family and friends, we made our departure for our much awaited honeymoon. The next day, we arrived in Florida and drove into the hotel valet area. We were approached by an enthusiastic young man who introduced himself as “Derek.” The “Just Married” decorations on our car had captured his attention. In my memory book, I wrote about Derek. We discovered he was a Christian, and he worked for the hotel. He helped us carry our luggage in – then prayed the sweetest prayer with us about our new marriage. We never saw Derek around the hotel again, except for one other time. He came to our room and brought a card. Inside the card he wrote what I believe was a message from God. It was  as though the young man knew we would need the encouraging words for the road ahead of us. He filled the card with words of blessings, ending with these words: “May you both be willing to forgive each other when difficulties arise even as Christ Jesus forgives you. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, but always seek restitution promptly. May your marriage be built on the rock of Jesus who ensures stability in trying times.” At the top of the card, he drew a picture of us standing on a rock. Next to it were the words, “The Rock of Jesus.” Many times I have wondered: “Was this young man an angel in disguise?”

This card has remained sacred to me since that day in 1985. I have kept it in a place of honor with our marriage certificate. When we were fighting the storms that threatened our marriage, and all I could see was darkness around me - the Lord reminded me of the words of wisdom written in that card. When I felt like giving up, I held onto those words, and trusted the Lord to carry us through. Today, the sunshine is shining brightly on our marriage. My heart is rejoicing! We made it! We made it through the storms. I am confident we will make it through the rain or wind that may come our way... as long as we are standing firmly On the Rock.

Matthew 7:24-25

Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house; yet it did not fall, because it had it's foundation on the rock. NIV

Lord, thank you for the gift of marriage. Thank you for creating a man just for me. Help me to love and honor him all the days of my life. Let our lives together be a living example of Your love for the Church. Amen.

Amy

Article written for Intercessory Prayer Network SE:

When I was twenty years old, I wrote a prayer to God, expressing my desire to learn to depend on Him like an infant with her mother. If I had known what was in store for me, I don't know that I would have been brave enough to pray those words.

At that time in my life I didn't really know what it meant to be dependent on God. There was no reason to depend on Him. I was a young newlywed working for a Fortune 500 company, sailing through life. To top things off, I was head over heels in love with the man I had dreamed of as a little girl. I was "Cinderella" and my "Prince Charming" had swept me off my feet. I thought we would live happily ever after.

For a season, the sunshine remained, but then the rain came, and eventually turned into violent thunderstorms. My marriage was failing, the job I sought fulfillment from had ended and I felt hopeless. Everything that made me feel safe and protected had been destroyed. I hit rock bottom. A 1997 journal entry reveals my desperation. You can hear the pain in my words: "God, do you hate me?" I clearly remember wanting my life to be over. In my desperation, God picked me up, put the pieces of my heart back together, and healed my marriage.

Shortly after God began restoring my marriage, I woke up from a deep sleep with these words stuck in my head: "Wherever you go, I will go." Later I shared the words with my mother, hoping she would have some insight. She told me that these words were from a scripture in the book of Ruth. Through tears, my mother read the words from Ruth 1:16, "Ruth said: 'Entreat me not to leave you, or turn back from following after you; for wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.' "  It touched my heart, but I still wasn't sure what the relevance of this verse was for my life. Several hours later, the Spirit of God came over me, suddenly - I remembered something I had forgotten. My husband and I had a verse engraved on our wedding bands before we were married. I couldn't get the ring off of my finger fast enough to see what scripture was inscribed on it.  My heart fluttered when I saw that it was Ruth 1:16. As I sat there weeping, I knew God had known all along that we would make it through the severe storms we had faced in our marriage.

Is there something you are relentlessly praying about, and desperately seeking God for?

* Don't give up praying (Luke 18: 1-8).

* Remain steadfast and don't lose heart (Hebrew 12:3).

* Keep a heart of gratitude (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

God hears our desperate cries and makes all things beautiful in His time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Twenty-two years after praying for an infant-like dependence on God, I believe I have learned what it means to be fully dependent on Him. My life is a beautiful story unfolding - a journey of growing, learning, and desperately seeking God.

 Amy

It’s very interesting to see how the seasons of the year (winter, spring, summer and fall) parallel with the seasons of my life. I remember one summer during a difficult season of my life, praying desperately for God’s intervention. There were intense circumstances surrounding me, driving me to the throne of God. I spent more time alone with God that summer than any other time in my life. He whispered to my heart, assuring me that He would answer the cries of my heart in His time.

The heat and humidity of summer were smoldering and oppressive just like the circumstances in my life. The Lord drew me close to His heart and showed me His love in a powerful way (Song of Solomon 1:4). The very day that my circumstances began to change, the air changed from the warm, oppressive humidity to the cool, crisp fall air. It was God’s symbol to show me that He had me in the palm of His hand (Isaiah 49:16).

Today, I was sitting outside watching the cherry blossom petals fall, breathing in the sweet smells of spring. The Lord spoke to my heart saying: Spring is here, the dead of winter has come to an end.  As the flowers are blossoming and the trees are growing new leaves, He is breathing new life into my soul. I thanked Him for His love, His grace, and for never leaving me through all the seasons of life.

 
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

1 - “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven”:

2 - “A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,”

3 – “A time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,”

4 – “A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,”

5 – “A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,”

6 – “A time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,”

7 – “A time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,”

8 – “A time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”

 
Lord, help me to live contentedly in the season you have me in. Help me not to look back and not to look ahead – to live fully in the present. Amen.

Amy

Article written for Intercessory Prayer Network Southeast:

Every little girl and little boy has dreams in their hearts. God places those dreams there for a purpose. He knows that their dreams will someday be the fuel that pushes them into their destiny. When I was a child, my heart was filled with dreams. I was such a day-dreamer that my second grade teacher actually requested for me to have my hearing checked.

My imagination was limitless. I would spend hours pretending and dreaming elaborate plans for my life. The dream that is most prominent in my mind is my dream of dancing. I have vivid memories of myself dancing and choreographing routines that I hoped one day to perform. But somewhere along the way my dreams were stolen, snatched away from me and replaced with doubt. Through the disappointments of life, my heart became disillusioned and I stopped dreaming. Then I entered adulthood like a dead man walking, blindly feeling my way through life.

It wasn’t until I was 38 years old that I realized there were dreams hiding deep within my soul. It was during a church service when a dream from childhood was slightly awakened. A Bishop within my church laid hands on me and began speaking of what he saw. He spoke of how he saw my calling to dance and the vision of me teaching little girls to dance. His words ignited a spark that was so buried within me that I didn’t even know it was there. This message from God needed to incubate for a period in order for the dream to be fully awakened and released in my life. Several years later, the prophetic words proclaimed over my destiny to “Dance” came to fruition. After decades of lying dormant, my passion for dance was fully revived. God opened a door for me to live out my dream and I began teaching little girls to dance.

The day I started dreaming again was the day my heart came alive. My new ability to dream enabled me to wake up each day with extravagant expectation from God, fully living and hoping. Honestly, my dreams are what keep me going, pushing me forward, and believing that there’s more than the “Here and Now.” Since I’ve tasted a dream fulfilled, I can’t imagine life without hoping for more. Do you believe there are dreams buried within your heart that need to be awakened? Pray today that God will reveal your dreams to you. There are ways we can dig for the treasures God has placed in our hearts:

1. Set aside time to be quiet and search your heart for unfulfilled dreams.

2. Start a “Dream Journal” to record your deepest desires and passions.

3. Form a network of positive people who will listen, encourage, and support you in your dreams.

Renewing the ability to dream ignites passion in our hearts, allowing us to have clarity and purpose as intercessors. Where there are no dreams, there is no life. Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” Let your heart come alive…ask God to uncover your Buried Dreams!      

Amy

Earlier this week, I saw a clip on television about orphans in Africa. As I sat there watching a story about two orphan girls in Ethiopia, my eyes glistened with tears and my heart shifted from heaviness to lightness. I needed something to jolt my mind into focusing on God’s vision for my life. For as long as I can remember, I have had a heart for Africa. I know I am called to minister to the hurting people, particularly the orphans that are suffering excruciating circumstances. This is the vision God has given me for my life. It is what He created me for.

This past month has been a challenge and a huge adjustment for me. I'm learning to balance working longer hours outside the home during my husband's unemployment. I am a home-maker and a home-schooling mom at heart.  I am not cut out to be a career woman. I love being at home with my family. It’s my passion. So I am being stretched to the max, like a kid pulling a rubber band as far as it can be stretched without snapping. Yet in my heart I know the Lord has me right where He wants me. God led me to my jobs and I see Him in the midst of all I’m doing. I am working in the “Hospitality Industry” mostly on weekends and working a few hours during the week teaching dance to children. Every detail about the situation has been perfectly orchestrated by God. Even though I am working more than ever, (since becoming a mom) my jobs are allowing me to keep my family as first priority and to continue home-schooling my children.

I know why God is stretching me and why He has been testing me greatly during recent years. It’s so much greater than anything I can imagine. Bottom line, God is preparing me for what He created me for. How will He use me in Africa if I don't learn to trust Him here in America? Life is a bed of roses here in the USA compared to what’s going on in Ethiopia. I’m so thankful that God has given me a glimpse of what it’s like to struggle. My heart aches when I see clips of the people in countries such as Uganda and Ethiopia.

As I’m writing this, the emotions are stirring in me and the tears are starting to flow. God has given me the spiritual eyes to see the good plans He has for my life. Every trial that He allows in my life has a purpose. Not one struggle has been in vain. As I face each new struggle, He continually reminds me that I need to live each day Driven by Vision.

Proverbs 29:18 – “Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he." KJV

Numbers 12:6 – “When a prophet of the Lord is among you, I reveal myself to him in visions, I speak to him in dreams.” NIV

Lord, help me to keep my eyes on Your vision for my life.

Your beloved daughter,

Amy

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