Living On The Edge

One thing I want to be in this life- is somebody's hero. I am so rich because of the heroes that have touched my life. When I think of a hero, I don't immediately think of a person running into a burning building to save someone's life. There is a more significant meaning that stands out in my mind. Webster's dictionary defines "Hero" as, "A man admired and emulated for his achievements and qualities." Lately, I've been reflecting on all the many heroes of my life.

When I think of heroes on this earth, my husband is the first one that comes to my mind. My husband is my hero, not because he has been the president or CEO of a big corporation, or that he has completed an "Ironman" race, or that he has accomplished some great feat. He is my hero because he keeps fighting despite the adversity that comes his way. He is my hero because he lives his life with integrity and works hard for our family. He's the one who knows the secrets of my soul. He shares my dreams, holds my hand, and cares for me when I'm sick. He's my hero, my best friend, my soul mate, and the one who holds my heart in his hand. 

My daughter is my hero because she is kind, caring, forgiving, funny, and strives to know God's heart better. My son is my hero because he is loving, caring, witty, generous, and vivacious- with a heart to fight for God's kingdom. My mom is my hero because she taught me by example what it means to love unconditionally and what it means to love God. My dad is my hero because he showed me by example what it means to truly allow Christ to transform my life. My grandmother is my hero because she instilled in my heart a passion for Christ and a love for life! My grandfather is my hero because he showed me what a "Real Man" is- what every man should strive to be. My friends are my heroes because they patiently walk with me through life, listening to my heart- sharing my tears of sadness and celebrating my joys and triumphs.

Today, I thank God for all "The Heroes of my Life" and above all for my Greatest Hero- Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior!

John 15:13 - " Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends."

Thank you, my heroes!

Amy

Eighteen years ago on this day, my daughter, Christa, was born. It is so hard to believe that her childhood is coming to an end and she is emerging into womanhood.

Today as I celebrate her birth and life, my mind is flooded with memories. I can vividly remember the day she was born. I especially remember the day I brought her home to begin my new life as a mother. I was so overwhelmed with emotion and the awesome responsibility that lay ahead of me. I began to pray for God's help. The memory of  me weeping and praying will be forever etched in my mind. I prayed... Dear Lord, You have given me this child. I know I cannot do this alone. So today I am giving her back to You. She is Yours. I am trusting You with her life. Amen.

I could have never dreamed or imagined that day I prayed- what an amazing young woman that Christa would grow into. She is a gift from God. There is no other like her. I have never known another 18 year old with as pure a heart as she has. The only one I can imagine her being like is Mary, the mother of Jesus. There is such an innocence and trust about Christa that reminds me of Mary. Surely, God has big plans for her life!

This evening, just before dusk, I was making the icing for Christa's birthday cake. I looked out the window and saw the most beautiful, big snowflakes I have seen in years. It was magical. The snow was falling so delicately and quickly making a beautiful white blanket over our yard. This scene was drawing my attention and making it hard to stay focused on the cake.

There was a sweet spirit in the room and tears began to flow from my eyes. I suddenly could see that the snowflakes were a magnificent picture of Christa's life during the past 18 years. As I watched the snowflakes fall, I could see how they were symbolic of all the countless blessings that Christa has brought into my life. There were probably billions of snowflakes. Each one represented to me an individual gift that has come as a result of Christa's life. Then I focused on the white blanket of snow accumulating on the ground. This was so obviously a symbol of Christa's heart and her purity.

I was overcome with joy for this beautiful picture! I walked outside and my neighbor hollered from across the street- " The snow is for Christa's birthday!" I knew this was a confirmation that God had sent Snowflakes From Heaven as a gift in honor of my daughter's 18th birthday. From now on, every time it snows - I will think of Christa and thank God for her life!

 
Psalm 127 :3- " Children are a GIFT from God, they are his reward."

 Happy 18th Birthday,  Christa!

I believe that God put His message of LOVE in my heart at a very young age. I am certain this is why I was so passionate about God's greatest commandment at the tender age of 8. I knew in my heart - He was a God of love.

But as I grew older my mantra became tainted by a more fundamental teaching. I was influenced by the mentality and teaching that we have to fit into a particular mold in order to be a " Good Christian." This type of Christianity worked for me for a long season- until adversity hit.

When the sun is shining and the water is calm, it's easy to believe God is good. But when the storms come, that's when we question who God REALLY is.

At the beginning of the 1990's, I was thrust into a season of fierce storms that never seemed to relent. As one storm would be over, another one would begin. By 1997, the storms had taken their toll on me. I hit rock bottom. I had to face the reality that being a "Good Christian" could not rescue me from the pit I was in.

After decades of going to church, studying the Bible, and memorizing countless scriptures--I didn't understand God's heart. Realizing this, I began my journey to seek answers and to learn the true nature of God. There is no doubt that I had the fundamentals mastered. But I wanted to KNOW God's heart. So little by little, I sought after God's own heart to really know and understand Him. And I found the answer I desperately wanted.

I have discovered who He is. To put it simply--I fell head over heels in love! I found that He is a loving God that wants and longs for my heart. He is love. He is hope. He is good.

The storms have calmed, the water is still, now I see a glimpse of a long awaited rainbow! And a complete shift in my view of God has carried me back to the 8 year old little girl who really knew God's TRUE HEART-- a heart of love. Now I can see clearly that God was there holding me, loving me, tenderly caring for me through every storm, even when I didn't know He was.

 

Psalm 31:7-I will be glad and rejoice in your LOVE, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul. NIV

Psalm 100:5- For the Lord is good and his LOVE endures forever....NIV

Psalm 103:8 - The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in LOVE....NIV

Psalm 89:1- I will sing of the Lord's GREAT LOVE forever; with my mouth I will make Your faithfulness known through all generations. NIV

Let God's LOVE rescue your heart!

Amy

 

In recent years- especially this past year, I have been in a season of transition.  Really, it's been more like a complete paradigm shift. The shift in my thinking has been a process involving many different occurrences. One occurrence stands out the most.

I was at a performance of the recording artist, David Teems, in the fall of 2006. He sang, played the piano, and shared his heart. His words resonated in my heart. The funny thing is that I don't really remember much at all about what he said. I just know that he talked about Christianity and LOVE. The words he spoke that night ignited an ember in my heart that is now a flame!

As a little girl, I discovered my favorite scriptures: 

Matthew 22:37-39 - ...Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.

I can remember when I was about 8 years old how I would share my heart and God's greatest commandment with my family. This was one of my grandmother's favorite memories about me as a child.

To be continued.....

Amy

 

In 1997, shortly after my son, Thomas, was born I began what I believe now was the biggest battle of my life. I was fighting post-partum depression. It felt like I was in a hole and I couldn't get out.

I opted not to take medications for my depression. So I fought a battle to get my life back for the next 5 months. It was during this season of my life that I learned a valuable lesson that has stayed with me. I learned that gratitude has a way of bringing light into the darkness.

In my gloom, I began writing everyday in my journal 5 things that I was thankful for. Some days were very difficult to be grateful. But as I continued this ritual, I noticed my depression lifting. It eventually became a habit for me to express my gratitude. I really believe that THANKFULNESS played a vital role in my defeat over my gloominess.

I have SO much to be thankful for. I pray that no matter what circumstances God allows to come into my life -- I will have a grateful heart!

 

1 Thessalonians 5:18

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. " NIV

 Colossians 2:6 & 7

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." NIV

Ephesians 5:20

" And you will always give thanks for everything to God the father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." NLT

Psalm 7 :17

"I will give thanks to the Lord because of his righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the Lord Most High." NIV

 

A thankful heart is a happy heart!

Amy

Several months ago a relative made a statement that has stuck with me. He said "This life we're living in is just an illusion-- the REAL WORLD is the spirit world." It's obvious that this life is not really an illusion. The point he made to me is that the spiritual realm is what REALLY matters.

I find that when I keep my eyes focused on the unseen things that I experience an insurmountable amount of peace. It can be very difficult to stay focused on what we cannot see, especially when what we can see is a world in great turmoil. But as I grow closer to the heart of God it becomes easier to stay focused on the unseen. And it becomes easier to see into the unseen world.

As I see more clearly with my spiritual eyes, I can see the good plans God has for my life. Then I KNOW in my spirit that His promises are TRUE!

2 Corinthians 4:17 &18

" For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is UNSEEN. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." NIV

Stay focused on what matters!

Amy 

 

This is a continuation of yesterday's post. I'm new to this site and somehow the post got cut short when I published it. So here I will pick up where I left off:

Living on the edge with God is not for wimps! It takes courage and bravery to go onto the dangerous road with God into the land of the unknown. The irony I see in this is that when we choose to stay on the safe path of our own plans, we are still living with the unknown. No one knows what tomorrow holds except for God. So why not join the great adventure of going where God leads? I have decided that the thrill of hanging on a cliff with God is the best option for me. The Lord has proven this to me.

Fifteen months ago my husband, Michael, started a new job with good pay and great benefits. To say I was grateful would be an understatement. Because eight months prior to beginning his current job, Michael lost his graphic design business. During those eight months my husband and I waited at the edge until God opened a door at just the right time. We were thrilled beyond words! We even celebrated by shooting fireworks with our children.

Michael got settled into his job and we got used to receiving a steady paycheck. I continued to have a heart filled with gratitude and I experienced joy most of the time. But as the months passed by, my dependence on the Lord seemed to lessen. It is undeniable that I have a deep love for God. But I noticed that I didn't run to God as often. Something was missing and I wanted it back.

The new year came and we were celebrating the beginning of 2008. Michael came home on the 3rd of January with some news. He told me and the kids that the corporation he has been working for is letting him go at the end of this month. Our first reaction was surprise, then laughter at the realization that we are in the same situation we have been in so many times before. To be exact, Michael and I counted and he has had a total of 7 job lay-offs and business losses during our 22 years of marriage, making the upcoming job loss the 8th!

This time there is a difference though. I have no fear. I know what the missing thing that I mentioned earlier is. It is the insatiable desire to experience God's power in my life. It is times of uncertainty that my heart turns toward God with abandon. When my heart is fully dependent on God, my soul is at rest. 

As followers of Christ we can allow undesirable circumstances to drive us to God. There is no better life than to experience God's love while the world seems to be falling apart. It has been while waiting on the edge that I have seen God's love the most. I have found that God IS love. When we experience God's love, there is NO FEAR!

1 John 4 :16 - "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in him." NIV

1 John 4:18 - There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear........

Let love rule your life!

Amy

 (More)

I never saw myself as a fearless risk taker when I was growing up. I was always the type of kid that stood back and watched before trying something that looked scary. In fact, it took me quite a few years before I would ride a big roller coaster.

I can remember being ten years old and my brother trying to persuade me to ride Space Mountain at Disney World. I was strong-willed and would not give into my brother's desire to share the thrill of the ride. However, by the time I hit my teens, I was a huge roller coaster fan. When I was about 17 years old, the Mind Bender opened at Six Flags. It was the first coaster at the park with multiple loops that swirled riders upside down. It was a totally new phenomenon to me and my friends. I can still remember the excitement that we had the first time we rode it. I had no fear! It was so exhilarating and thrilling that when it was over we would run and get back in line. We would ride it over and over for the rush of adrenaline that we would experience!

This roller coaster experience is the perfect metaphor to use to describe my life. In the past, I lived my life as cautiously as I could. I really had no desire to take chances with anything that might threaten my security. I had a plan in my head that I believed would keep me safe from disaster. I would stick to my plan, take no risks, and live stifled by my fear. However, over time and through many tests, I have become brave and fearless. It is not something that happened over night. It has been a process of walking a road with the Lord that I would have never dared to walk before. But once I got on this road, there has been no desire to turn back. Oh, it's not that it has been easy. It has actually been daunting at times. What makes me want to stay is the awesome adrenaline rush that happens when God takes me to the edge and then rescues me just in time. It's also about experiencing a high on life that is the result of living on the edge.

    It's the beginning of a new year and what I believe to be a new season in my life.  I am anticipating a year filled with many new beginnings. I never thought I would join the family of bloggers. But here I am ready to share the joys, adventures, and difficulties of life with anyone that cares to read.  I hope through this blog, I will be able to encourage and uplift others on this journey called LIFE. This past year has been a year of stretching, growing, and learning to trust God with my life. It has been a year of highs and lows, sorrows and celebrations. This is life- an amazing ride filled with a gamut of emotion. It's never going to be perfect. But it can be glorious, if we realize that we were created for a purpose. When we seek to find that purpose and begin walking the path of our destiny, we will find the fulfillment that we long for. Christ never promised that the road would be easy, but He did promise an abundant life!

John 10:10

.... I am come that they might have LIFE and that they might have it more abundantly.

Blessings & New Beginnings!

Amy

 

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