Living On The Edge...Loving Relentlessly

I stumbled upon a prayer that I wrote in 2006. Three years after writing it I am still in awe of the treasures God has placed in my heart.

This prayer serves as a reminder that God is everything He says He is. He will do all that you ask of Him as long as you seek Him and remain in Him (Matthew 7:7-8, John 15:7).

Are you questioning God’s goodness? If you are, it’s a ploy to keep you from the treasures the Lord has for you.

Seek, seek, seek…that’s all you have to do to find God. He promises in His scriptures that if you seek Him, you will find Him.

I found God in ways I never dreamed of. He softly speaks to me. Sometimes He shouts things with a megaphone to get my attention. He lavishes me with His loving words. His voice is a priceless treasure.

Jesus is everything to me. He is my joy. He is my strength. He is my hope. He is my bosom buddy. He wants to be yours.

Don’t give up. Keep drawing close to Him. He is waiting. When you fall at His feet, He will say: “Where have you been lately?” “I’ve missed you. I’ve been waiting for you to come back.” “I love you with an everlasting love.”

Jesus is calling you to come and enter into His presence and stay awhile. He longs to be with you. He is beckoning you to fall deeply in love with Him.

My Prayer...May 14, 2006

Dear Lord,

As I sit here reminiscing over the past experiences of my life, I find myself overwhelmed with thankfulness. I remember the long nights of crying, the countless hours of prayer, the longing to really know that You had me in the palm of Your hand and that you really hadn’t forsaken me.

I remember doubting that you really had good plans for my life. I remember being so gripped with fear that I could barely move forward. I remember questioning Your love for me. I remember the darkness that surrounded me and wondering if I would ever see light in my life. I remember very clearly wanting desperately for my life to be over. Today, I ask You to never let these memories slip from my mind. 

Thank you, Father, for loving me enough to bring me to the place I am today. Forgive me for the many times I doubted Your love and Your plans for me.

Thank you for EVERY circumstance You have brought to my life because it is in these circumstances that You have revealed Yourself to me. You have shown me Your TRUE heart. I see clearly that without each circumstance You chose for me I could not be where I am today. With each circumstance You have given me a TREASURE: a lasting treasure that cannot be taken away.

You have written inscriptions on my heart that will be there for all eternity. These treasures are far beyond any earthly treasure I could ever obtain. Forgive me for all the times I have asked You for the false treasures and for believing the lie that they could fill the aches of my heart.

Thank you for your patience with me as I wasted so much of Your time chasing after the very things that bring death.

Lord, my heart is filled and overflowing with joy for the treasures You have given me. You have given me peace instead of fear, hope instead of hopelessness, life instead of a wish for death, a thankful heart instead of self-pity, laughter instead of tears, joy instead of sadness, dreams instead of doubt, dependence on You instead of dependence on me, strength to carry on instead of weariness, a worshipful heart instead of a worn down heart, a more humble heart instead of a pride-filled heart, a light heart instead of a heavy heart, and a heart that dances, sings, and praises You.

Lord, guard my heart from the tactics of the enemy and keep me in this place of living in the moment, fully hoping, dreaming, and trusting You. There is no place I would rather be than where You have me today.

Thank you for giving me ALL these treasures of the heart.

Your beloved daughter,

Amy

Matthew 6:19-21

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not steal. For where your treasure is there your heart will be also.

I saw the handiwork of God one day when I dropped in at my son’s school. I sat with Thomas and seven other boys during their lunch period. I noticed one of the boys had his Bible opened. The boys were engaging in a serious conversation.

While sitting there with them, I looked at one of the boys and said, “I see that you brought your Bible with you.” He smiled and responded: “Yes, it’s my sword.” A group of 12 year old boys were having a respectful, mature conversation about the Bible.

As I sat there listening, my heart was filled with warmth. During these tough times for our world, I was witnessing a group of preteens passionately discussing theology. In that moment, I could see God raising godly boys into strong, young men.

My heart was encouraged. As scary as this world can be—I know God has it all under control. He knows who He has chosen to fight for His kingdom. I saw a glimpse of a hope-filled world. I saw how God has chosen a generation of strong, warrior boys who will one day be mighty, warrior men.

God is raising a generation of strong men and women. And I believe with all my heart—they will make a difference!

1 Peter 2:9

But you are a chosen generation, a kingly priesthood, a holy nation, a purchased people that: you may declare His virtues, who hath called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.

I love to daydream. It’s bliss getting lost in my own little world and reminiscing about all God has accomplished in my life.

Looking back over the past few decades I can see a pattern of God's hand working to accomplish His will for me. The decade of the nineties was a season of tearing down, exposing the places in my heart that were not good--the things that were hindering me from having deep intimacy with Christ. But in the tearing down process, in the midst of the turmoil, God was faithful to show His face.

One of my favorite memories of the Lord showing Himself to me happened on a day in 1994. My marriage was a wreck. This day I was experiencing a great deal of emotional pain. My daughter was 4 years old at the time. As a loving mother, I did everything in my power to shield her from the difficulties. So I quietly slipped away to my bedroom and began sobbing and praying to God. My heart was in such anguish. While I was praying, I could faintly hear a small voice singing in the distance. My tears ceased, I got up and opened the door. I walked into the other room and there I saw my sweet daughter smiling and singing the praise song, “In His Time.” The words were comfort to my soul:

In His time, in His time,
He makes all things beautiful in His time,
Lord, please show me everyday,
As You’re teaching me Your way,
That You do just what You say, in Your time.

Instantaneously, my sorrow turned to joy – the kind that makes my heart sing and dance! It was as though God Himself was telling me He would turn the ugliness in my life into beauty, in His time. The joy was so unspeakable that I called several family members, and asked my daughter to sing the song over the telephone. That day was a sacred day in my life. I will remember it forever. A simple song sung by my daughter was a symbol of HOPE for me to hold onto until the Lord revealed His beauty for my life. God knew, in His grace and mercy, that I needed encouragement that day.

Are you experiencing circumstances that seem hopeless or impossible to overcome? The Lord is our only hope. He gives us everything we need. He is amazing in His ability to encourage us as we wait for His beauty to be unveiled in our lives.

In His scriptures, The Lord promises to bring joy and beauty to our lives:

Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NIV) “He has made everything beautiful in its time…”

Isaiah 60:5 (NIV) “Then you will look and be radiant, your heart will throb and swell with joy.”

As I look back over those tumultuous days of my life, I wouldn’t change anything about them.  It has been through the struggles that I have seen His hand working mightily in my life.  How would I know of God’s goodness without first experiencing the anguish?

How would I experience His power or get to see His grace without the difficulties? God has brought forth His beauty in my life. Now I can shout to the world of His goodness.

My life is living proof that the Lord is faithful, and He does make all things beautiful in His time.

The Lord is expressing His message of love to my heart more than ever before. It seems to be consuming my mind. God has quests for me to conquer everyday.

I’m making progress in my ability to love better only because of God’s Spirit. If it were left up to my strength I would be a hard-hearted woman, living with my heart encased by an imaginary brick wall about 10 feet thick. But by His Spirit I am being led and shown how to love.

A few weeks ago, I had the perfect opportunity to try out my new heart – the one God has been renewing and refining. At one of my jobs a co-worker talked to me in a way that made me feel disrespected. She was having a bad day and her words were gruff. For a split second, my mind, my flesh wanted to react, but God stopped me dead in my tracks and flooded my heart with love for her. It was an opportunity to practice what the Lord has been teaching me. He wants for me to love everyone I come into contact with and trust Him with my heart. In other words, when someone dishonors me, He wants for me to repay the unkindness with His love. In return, He will honor me for showing honor to people who seem undeserving.

In the past I have struggled with loving those who have hurt me for fear of being hurt worse. But I have found that where there is love there can be no more hurt. A typical scenario of my past would be letting the words or actions of another wound me, then I would run to God in my hurtful state, and beg Him to help me to forgive the offender. My prayer would be something like this: “Lord, I feel so hurt, so wounded. Why does this person keep hurting me? Please, Lord, please let this hurt go away.”  I have done this too many times in my life to count. My motive seemed to be innocent and admirable. But I am learning that in many ways this prayer was self-centered. It was all about me and my need to be loved.

On the day my co-worker was treating me with disrespect, it made me feel discounted. The way she had spoken to me was a bit demeaning. My heart needed encouragement. In the split-second that I chose to trust God with my emotional needs, by responding with love, He quickly responded to my needs. He sent a person to honor me. Within an hour or so, a woman, a complete stranger came up to me and began thanking me for doing such a wonderful job. She said several really loving words, but what touched me the most is how she told me I sparkled.  She told me I had a special aura about me. She thanked me repeatedly. It was as if she could see into my heart. She told me she could see that I was the kind of person that would always treat people nicely, no matter how I had been treated. God was speaking words of love to me through her lips. Her words lifted my discouraged heart. And to top it off she asked if she could hug me. She displayed God’s love beautifully. I will probably never see this woman again since she was visiting from another state. But I will always remember her words of kindness and how God used her to honor me as a reward for showing His love to someone who had dishonored me.

The next day after the incident at my job, the Lord did a download on me. I was meditating on God's word and thinking of how He wants us, as Christians, to display His love. I was telling Him how hard it is to love unkind people. This is what He said to me:

"Amy, think of the people in your life that you love the most, the ones that honor you the most, the ones that show you the most love and respect. Remember how you show them love by sending cards, giving gifts, giving flowers and lavishing them with loving, kind words. Now, think of the meanest people in your life, the ones that don't honor or respect you, those that treat you the worst. I want you to treat the meanest, most unkind people the same way you treat the people that love you the best. I want you to lavish the disrespectful, unkind people with love, encouragement, and I want you to honor them as much as you honor the kind people."

At first, I was thinking, “Oh my! That is quite a request.” But my final response to God was..."WOW, I will do this, I know I CAN with Your help!"

Immediately the words of Matthew came flooding into my heart:

Matthew 5:44 – “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you…”

The amazing thing about God’s love is that it causes darkness to be illuminated. My flesh tells me that if I love those who hurt me that I am giving them a license to hurt me more. But the reality is quite the opposite. God’s love actually causes unkindness to dissipate. The day that my co-worker had been unkind…she changed her attitude toward me after I responded to her with love. In fact, she treated me lovingly and kindly during the latter part of the day. It was as though the love of God that had flowed out of me penetrated her heart causing love to grow in the wounded places that caused her to be unkind.

Love breeds love. When we respond to hatred with love – this is when we see God at work the most.

The Lord is showing me that He needs me to display His love to hurting people. How will hurting people know the love of God unless His people freely display it?

God is shouting this message to my heart: He wants for me to love relentlessly…leaving fear behind.

My greatest need, the need to be loved is being met by the Creator of the Universe. This means that through Him I can love others first. I don’t have to wait for an apology from those that treat me unkindly. I can love the way Christ loves – with no strings attached, loving simply because God’s Spirit is flowing out of me. This is true freedom.

I don’t have to be in despair when someone is unkind to me. Instead, I am able to look at it as an opportunity to display the love of Christ.  I am free now to love God with all my heart, soul, and strength…and as I do this I will be able to love my neighbor as myself.

I am a new woman. My new prayer is:

Lord, pour Your love into my heart, help those who are hurting to be drawn to You through Your love that is displayed in me. Amen.

As a little girl, God placed a message in my heart. I was drawn to His two greatest commandments stated in Matthew 22:37-39: "...Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself."

Even as a little child I understood that there is nothing more important than love. But knowing the greatest commandments and living them out are two different things. It has taken me half a lifetime to allow these commandments to take hold of my heart.

During the past decade, God has been removing the idols in my life so that I could love Him with all my heart. And it has been through learning to love Him with my whole heart that I have been able to learn to love myself.

Loving my self is one of the keys to loving my neighbor well. After all, the Bible clearly tells me to Love my neighbor as myself. How can I love others well, if I don't love myself? Ultimately, I am able to love others to the level I have loved and accepted my own self. As I accept myself for the uncondtionally loved daughter of God that I am, I am able to accept and unconditionally love others in the same way my Father loves me.

During my meditations the Lord has made it clear to me that my main focus should be on His love. He wants for me to stay focused on His two greatest commandments for the rest of my journey on this earth. I will obey. I will spend the rest of my life shouting to the world about the treasures I’ve found in God, living out the love of God through my words and actions. He is love and He wants the world to know that.

With the clear focus I now have for my life, I have decided to add ..."Loving Relentlessly" to the title of my blog. I have a feeling that a large portion of my writings will be about love. I will always live my life on the edge--that won't ever change. But I see now that an integral part of living dangerously on the edge happens to be: Loving relentlessly!

I am becoming my mother, and my daughter is becoming me.  As many times as I’ve heard the old saying, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” ...I never really saw the real truth in this until recently.

I have always wanted to be like my mother for as long as I can remember. She is the epitome of “Beauty” in every sense of the word. When I was a little girl everyone told me I looked like my father. I liked being told that I looked like my daddy. But deep in my soul, I wanted to hear that I looked like my mother. Her stunning, physical beauty was something I admired about her. Her radiant glow was something I desired to have. I remember the day that someone first told me I looked like my mother. I was about 30 years old. I was visiting the town where my mother grew up. In a restaurant a man approached me, saying he knew who I was only because I looked just like his high school friend, Nancy (my mother). From that day on, people began telling me I looked like my mother. I gleamed as I realized the beauty my mother possessed had blossomed out of me. And I realized that her outward beauty was magnified by the deep beauty within her soul.

Anyone who knows my mother, knows why I have always wanted to be like her. During the hardest of seasons, my mother was the wind beneath my wings. She taught me the most valuable lessons of my life. Today, I am remembering the years after my dad divorced my mother and how we were left with barely enough money to make ends meet. I truly believe it is what I witnessed during those years that made me the woman I am today. What stands out in my mind the most is how my mom depended on God. I saw a hurting woman turn to Jesus for her every need. She was a young, beautiful woman. She could easily have turned to other men in her desperation. But I watched her closely as she sought God. Most importantly, I watched how a woman’s passionate love for God could make a bad situation turn into something good.

My mother was the first person I ever saw fall deeply in love with God. Since she no longer had a husband, she depended on God for everything. I can still picture my mom sitting with her Bible. She was always seeking to know God better. Her life was a true testament of the goodness of God. Her love for God was evident by the fruit in her life. I saw the fruit of the Spirit lived before me in my own house. I saw a woman giving sacrificially, like no other person in my life. One time, she literally gave away the jacket on her back. It was her favorite jacket, one she wore all the time. She gave it to a young teenage girl because the Lord had asked her to. In that moment, I remember thinking, “I want to be like my Mama.”

I also give my mother credit for exemplifying that following Christ can be a great adventure! Shortly after my dad left, my mom bought a special ring. She beamed as she would share the story about it. It was a ring that told the story of her heart – the story of the adventure that God had swept her up into. From the side, the ring looked like a roller coaster, symbolizing the excitement of following God. From the top, it looked like a music note, symbolizing the beauty God was creating in her life. She wore the ring as a symbol of her commitment to God, and His commitment to her…it was the first time I saw how God personalizes our ties to Him.

In a nutshell, the way my mother reacted to the pain in her life was teaching me a life lesson that would stay with me forever. I learned from my mother to see the best in everything. I learned from my mother how to be an over-comer, how to live life to the fullest in the midst of suffering. I learned from my mother how to see God in every situation, how He rescues us in times of need. I learned from my mother to give from the heart, how to give until there’s nothing left to give.

Most important of all, I learned from my mother how to be a good mother. My daughter’s heart is living proof of this. Several weeks ago, my daughter, Christa, sent me a paper she had written for her Religion class at college. She asked me to help her proofread it. I began reading it, and within the first paragraph the tears began to flow. For the first time I realized the lessons I had learned from my mother, the message of my soul, had taken root in Christa’s young heart. It’s hard to describe what reading my daughter’s words did for me as a mother. Every desire of my heart as a mother was fulfilled in the moments of reading her college paper. I could have never dreamed that my nineteen year old daughter had grasped onto wisdom that had taken me close to 30 years to latch onto. The life message God has placed in me – the message of hope and love, of living life to the fullest has been instilled in my daughter’s heart. She gets it and she’s only 19 years old. My heart is overflowing with joy and relief to know my first-born child, my daughter has found the key to a well-lived life. A mother couldn't ask for more!

Christa was given an assignment to watch a video called, “Teenage Affluenza is spreading fast.” Then she was asked to write a paper describing her thoughts of the video. See my link section to watch the video.

Below is the rough draft of her paper:

Throughout my life, my family has never had an exuberate amount. We have always struggled financially, and I never have felt the financial security that many of my friends have experienced. My house is around twenty years old, my family never had the extra money for entertainment purposes, when I got older I had to buy my own clothes, I watched our refrigerator go empty for days, my car had no air conditioning and I always saw the worst of things. I could never see the best in anything and it was something I struggled with and still struggle with until this day. My hero, my role model, my mother always told me to see the best in everything, more specifically: “Things could be worse”. But as I grew up stubborn, I could not understand this concept. Like a typical American teenager, the superficial was more important to me than the life I had, the life I was given to live. This satirical video shows us the meaning of living. We live our life in a routine: sleep, eat, school, homework, work, eat, and sleep. But I always used to question, what more do we have to live for?

We see three different underlying aspects of this video. First, we see that we always need to be thankful for what we have. So much of this world is so spoiled that we never see the pain that so many people go through in third-world countries and even in our own cities. Second, we need to live for more. As said before, this life is more than just a day to day routine. Proverbs 1:22 says: “How long will you simple ones love simplicity, you scoffers be eager to scoff, you dullards hate knowledge?” This verse shows us that we need to live for more than just what is in front of us; the simple life is not what we are supposed to be pursuing. We see all throughout the Hebrew Bible that we need to pursue a Holy life for Jesus. Third, we need to live a life with a servant’s heart. Exodus 23:25 says, “You shall serve the Lord your God…” I believe this video shows us we need to do more than just play video games or watch television: we need to give to other people until there is nothing left to give.

Since the eleventh grade, when I got involved with my youth group, my view began to change of the world. I no longer just wanted to live life for fun, I wanted to make a difference – change what I see corrupted in our society. Gandhi once said, “You must be the change in the world you wish to see” and this video simply implies this message in its five minutes of time. I know that from videos like these, from news reports, and from reading about the suffering that happens all over the world, it makes me want to learn to be more appreciative of everything I have. Psalm 107:8 says, “Let them praise the Lord for his steadfast love, His wondrous deeds for mankind”. We can see the Hands of God in anything and everything and this is when we need to spread love, give thanks, and live life to the fullest. Isaiah 58 embeds the true idea of this video as well. Isaiah 58:7 says, “It is to share your bread with the hungry, and to take the wretched poor into your home; when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to ignore your own kin”. The wisdom from this verse shows us we need to give to our own brothers and sisters in Christ and that we are meant to live for so much more. This video says to me that we need to give more of our lives to others, and this action will be able to show Christ’s true love.

 Ezekiel 16:44 (NIV)

Everyone who quotes proverbs will quote this proverb about you: "Like Mother, like daughter."

Twenty-four years ago, I walked down the aisle of my church and made a vow to love my husband, Michael, until death. On that day in 1985, we promised to love, honor, and cherish one another. What a ride it has been.

When I chose to marry Michael, I never could have dreamed of how our love would grow. I really had no concept of what it means to truly love. We had an intense passion for each other, but neither of us understood the full extent of what our vows meant. Who really fully understands the meaning of love while standing at the altar, entering into Holy Matrimony?

Today, as I celebrate our marriage, my heart is filled with awe and wonder for our future together. It’s as though we are standing at the threshold again. It feels as though this is really just the beginning for us…because it’s taken us the past 24 years to learn to truly love. We are still learning.

There’s a song I want to dedicate to Michael today. I know he will remember the song well. We heard the song shortly after we decided to get married. It was one of  "Our special songs." The song described perfectly how we felt toward one another. We knew we wanted to grow old together and continually be getting to know each other. We knew it would take a lifetime.

Michael, I would do it all over again…for all we have come to know and for all that lies ahead.

You are my best friend, my lifetime partner -- the one God created for me.

I love you with all my heart,

Amy

P.S. Can you believe it? We've made it 24 years!! The song still makes me cry.

Oops...I can't seem to get the video (song) embedded into my post (I added the video to my link section).

April Fool's Day has always been one of my favorite days of the year. I love to play fun jokes on my friends and family. I love to laugh. And some of my jokes have been hilarious over the years. When I woke up this morning the last thing on my mind was playing an April Fool's joke. I had other things on my mind. I was pumped and excited about the day a head of me. On Monday I had set up an appointment with a potential client for my job. I sell advertisement for a company called "New Beginnings."

As I was getting ready for work, listening to my worship music, I was delighting in the Lord. The lyrics of the song playing went something like this: "Jesus, Your love is Incredible and it's glorious, wonderful..." My spirit was dancing, my heart was happy. I was feeling such certainty of my Jesus and His love for me. So I boldly prayed these words, "Lord, I want to see a miracle today...I'm expecting a miracle." I was dead serious and I know Jesus knew I was. So I finished styling my hair and I was on my way.

A few hours later I was relishing in the fact that the potential client (a Chiropractic Clinic) I had my appointment with had signed up with my company. First, I must clarify that this was not THE miracle I had prayed about this morning. My heart was rejoicing, but God had something better planned for my day. It was definitely an amazing thing that I had gotten a client on the spot. This is almost unheard of in sales, especially with advertisement. I can't begin to describe how much red tape has to be cut through to get a new client on board. Just getting a client is a HUGE thing! I started this job on December 8th and signed my first client on March 7th. I had met with my 1st client on my first day of work in December, 3 months before he signed up. It took that long! Today at the Chiropractic Clinic it was apparent that God had gone before me and prepared the way. I had already accepted the fact that if I was going to continue this job that the only way I would do well is to have Him lead the way.

Shortly after leaving my appointment and picking my son up from a friend's house, I noticed I had a voice mail. I was driving down the road listening to the message (I know I should not have been driving with a cell phone in my hand). When I heard who it was I had to pull over and park in a subdivision. It was a message from THE premier restaurant group in the Atlanta area. This company owns 11 upscale restaurants in the area. Anyone that lives in Atlanta knows about these restaurants. I was stunned.

On a whim I had called the restaurant group Monday and left a voice mail about the advertising services my company offers. I honestly did not expect a call back. I figured I had nothing to lose by making the call. The worse thing that could happen was that I wouldn't get a call back. I was already used to not getting return calls. I have had very few returned calls since I started almost 4 months ago. I can't tell you how many times I've felt like throwing in the towel since I started this job. It seemed pointless to keep working so hard at something and not get paid. I am paid on a commission basis for my sales.

I had a really hard time believing that I would do well selling advertising especially with a weak economy. But God kept insisting that I keep working at it. Every time I went to Him with my discouraged heart He would say loud and clear: "TRUST ME." On the other side of my head I could hear: "What's the point?" "You're wasting your time." "You're never going to succeed at this." But God's voice was louder. He was repeatedly saying to TRUST Him. I don't know if others experience battles quite as dramatic as this. But I was in a FIERCE battle for about 2 months. It was intense. I kept pressing into what God was telling me to do. Finally, I gave in to God. I meditated on Philippians 4, verses 6 and 7 and I stopped worrying. I resolved in my spirit that I was on the path He wanted me to be on and no matter how bad the outward circumstances were I would NOT GIVE UP.

The call I received today from such a HUGE, elite company was God's way of making a statement to me. I said to God in a childlike voice, “You would!” In other words, I was saying to Him, “You would choose the best, most elite company for me because that’s Your character – it always has been. As I began letting it sink in, I was squealing. I was jumping up and down when I got to my house.. My son said: "Mom, you're acting like a kid." I agree, I was acting like a kid! My Daddy had done something better than remarkable for me because I had listened and obeyed. He wanted to show me that He CAN do this for me. He will give me favor. I returned the call and found out that the man with the restaurant group that had called is on a trip from March 31st to April 7th. He had actually called while he was out of town. I can't express how big this is for me.

I have no idea where this will lead. It potentially could be my best client. But none of that matters to me. What matters is that my Dear Lord showed me that He has His hand on my life. And as long as I trust Him – as long as I follow where He takes me – He will come through for me. This was my miracle. It was a miracle because I saw the God of the Universe entering into my everyday life. That's an awesome miracle!

Isaiah 45:2 (WEB)

I will go before you, and make the rough places smooth. I will break the doors of brass in pieces, and cut apart the bars of iron.

The rain was gently and slowly coming down. I could hear the pitter-patter on the roof over my head as I knelt down before the Lord. I was quiet and still. There was no sound around me - only the gentle, soothing sound of the raindrops. It reminded me of the softness of Christ's Spirit, His soothing love and gentleness.

I asked the Lord to pour out His Spirit all over me like rain. He did. A soft, gentle love came rushing over me. I was frozen in the moment. His Spirit was holding me tight. I knew He was there with me. Suddenly I knew the vastness of His Being. I realized how small I am in His presence. I am nothing without Him. He is everything to me in this dark world.

Tears came over me as I thought about the many times I have bowed before Him with selfish motives. Many times I had made it about me. This was very different. It was all about Him, His power, and His strength. His love and strength consumed me. I understood better what it means to die to my self. In those moments, my needs were far from my thoughts. I was in the midst of the Famous One. I was in AWE. I was overcome. I wanted time to stop. I didn't want to move. In His presence, I was speechless.

As the Spirit led me in my words, I began telling him that his only HOPE was to turn to God. I shared all that the Holy Spirit wanted me to. As I said the words, he turned his face away from me. His mind was not receptive. But I could see that his spirit was. I could also see a raging battle going on for the soul of this man.

I walked inside my house and the tears of compassion began flowing. It hurt to see someone be so lost. Earlier in the week, the Lord had brought this young man to my mind during my prayer time. God gave me the vision of this man falling on his face before God as a result of this great loss in his life. I embraced the belief that the man would come to Christ. Most important of all, I embraced the call to keep on praying until he does. I will be obedient. I will be God’s servant of prayer until the vision God gave me comes to fruition.

This kind of thing has taken place a number of times in my life. I feel honored to be chosen by God to pray. I believe the kind of circumstance my neighbor is experiencing is the reason why God is urging me to a deeper level of prayer. He needs me. He needs me to help Him achieve His visions for His Kingdom. This is why He wants me to sit in SILENCE with Him each day. Because He wants me to be able to better hear “His requests” for the things He desires me to pray for.

The saddest thing in this life is watching people suffer without Christ. I honestly don’t know how they survive. I desperately want people to KNOW Christ. I want hurting people to enter into the place of comfort and contentment I have discovered. There is one thing I realize about this: I cannot make people want to know Christ. I can only PRAY and release the hurting people I know into God’s hands.

It is in knowing Christ I am able to release the sad scenarios into His hands. For quite a few years I didn’t know what it meant to KNOW Christ. I knew His truths backwards and forwards. But knowing truth was not enough. My soul yearned to know Him. As I sought the Lord with my whole heart, I began knowing Him better and better. I plan to continue getting to know Christ until I meet Him face to face.

I will never fully arrive until I am FULLY in His presence. This is a lifetime journey. A danger we can fall into as followers of Christ is comparing ourselves to one another during the journey.  I have done this in the past. I don’t do this anymore. The Lord set me straight.

I have a friend that used to say to me: “You have the hot line to God.” She had heard me share so many stories of God’s miracles in my life. She seemed to think I had some kind of special access to God. I honestly was flattered. But my response to her was this: “All men and women who believe, have the hot line to God.” It is a fallacy to think that a particular person has more accessibility to God than another. Every one of us has the same direct availability to God’s power and love. This is what saddens me at times, the fact that more people don’t tap into God’s life-giving TREASURES.

God loves us all the same. We don’t have to fight for His attention. He loves each of us just as we are. And He wants to know every single one of us intimately and personally. Anyone reading this that hasn’t jumped onto this amazing ride with God, I’m inviting you today to enter into His presence, to get to KNOW Him. I promise you’ll never be the same!

Philippians 3:10 –

I want to KNOW CHRIST and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death.

Lord, may we, the body of believers continually seek to know You better. Amen.

Live Abundantly!

Amy

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